M.other O.f M.ayhem (M.O.M.)

I was dreaming about this blog....

2012-01-17T10:02:00.004-05:00

Last night I was dreaming/thinking about this long lost blog and feeling like I might want to try and start it up again. For a long while life was just too hard to write about. I was in a place where I questioned life, God, the universe and my ability to survive it all with a clear head on my shoulders. I still have a ways to go, but I am feeling more "myself" than I have in long time. Of course now I probably don't have any readers what-so-ever so I'm not sure I will be motivated enough to write for myself. Maybe I could at least aim for once a month to get started.

I know we are well into January now, but I have still been reflective on the past year. 2011 was actually QUITE a good year for me. It was really the "Year of Me" and in a good way. For the first time in a VERY long time I did several things that were just for ME. In April I took a plane ride (had been over 10yrs) to meet up with a huge group of lady friends in North Carolina. This was pivotal for me and I think was immensely good for me in unquantifiable ways. I had a low point in August but I perked myself up with another trip to NC to see a friend who missed the first gathering. I weathered my first hurricane there and survived just fine. This past year I actually bought clothes and other miscellaneous things for MYSELF. Things that were just for ME. My divorce was (finally) final. Not that divorce is usually a "good" thing, but it is good to be done with it and move on. It leaves me at a fresh place to start 2012. So what will 2012 have in store for me and my kids? I am hoping it will at least be as good as 2011 and hopefully even better.

2010 in Facebook Status review....

2011-01-05T13:10:00.005-05:00

Sorry this will be long, but I like that I can see them all together. Kinda fun!

Laughing at KJ who was just sitting on the toilet belting out in song to himself "Dooon't Stop, Belieeevin', duh-nu-nu-naaaaah" Heehee.
12:52pm December 31st, 2010 (6 comments · 9 likes)

Spent pretty much all of Christmas on the couch or in bed puking with a spinning head. (Hey that rhymed). Having the pleasure ride of Vertigo since Thursday night/Fri morning. A bit better, but not spectacular yet. Blah...
11:10pm December 27th, 2010 (7 comments)

Slept in till 9:30 with KJ!!!! E was already up watching TV. Love the no school & sleeping in!!! Having a lazy morning but must get moving & get last minute stuff done today!!
11:33am December 22nd, 2010 (2 likes)

Has several Christmas presents for sale that I was going to give to my kids....but I don't think they'll be getting anything this year.....
2:26pm December 20th, 2010 (6 comments · 5 likes)

I hate it when I fall asleep at 9pm and wake up at 2am and can't fall back asleep. Ugh. Its 4am now and this is just irritating.
4:04am December 20th, 2010 (5 comments · 1 like)

Well that was a fun Preschool Christmas program tonight. Kaedon did not sing AT ALL, but he surely kept the crowd entertained. And who knew there were so many ways to wear a clip on tie.
8:50pm December 16th, 2010 (4 comments · 7 likes)

Dancing or shopping tonight? What should I do? I feel too lazy for either but I have a couple hours to myself.
7:11pm December 14th, 2010 (3 comments · 1 like)

There is SO much I SHOULD be doing, but instead I'm going to make the infamous Apricot topped Brie and keep sipping my happy drink and watch the finale of Dexter!!! Doesn't get too much better.
10:05pm December 13th, 2010 (14 comments · 7 likes)

Kids freaking managed to lock the van while I had it running to warm it up. All because they are fighting of course/running back in to tattle. Nice way to waste $50-$60 at Christmas time. So we sit here waiting for the tow truck/lock out guy. GREAT!!!
5:56pm December 13th, 2010 (12 comments)

So GR peeps....do you think there will be school tomorrow??? I have to make a decision now to pick up extra at work overnight and leave kids at their Dads (w/out a practical way to get them to school in the am) or get kids now and not work. Its kind of a crap shoot.
3:18pm December 12th, 2010 (6 comments · 1 like)

Well that was a fun & interesting evening! A free dinner at San Chez courtesy of a pharmaceutical company, then dancing, and then some Rapid Responding until an ambulance arrived to someone who passed out on the dance floor. Luckily she didn't need the drugs I had just learned about!!!
10:51pm December 7th, 2010 (3 comments · 3 likes)

Kids have bought themselves a 7pm bedtime. Now if only KJ would stay there without coming out 2 million times, adding to my fury. Elise will be getting up early to finish her homework. Fun times.
7:18pm December 2nd, 2010 (4 comments)

Went swing dancing at the museum again t'nite. One guy asked if I was "in high school or college". Hehehe! So its a young crowd, but still lots of fun dancing. And I don't have to care what any of the youngin's think, lol.
10:30pm November 30th, 2010 (5 comments · 10 likes)

I must confess, I am a dessert slut. I made out with 4 different ones all in one day. And two at once just now.... ;)
12:24am November 26th, 2010 (8 comments · 8 likes)

Had a girls "morning" w/ Elise today while Kaedon was at school- out to breakfast and shopping. Very sweet time. Later a trip to the library and now chilling at home with pizza and movies. Good times and warm fuzzies!! Feeling blessed and thankful for my kids today.
7:11pm November 24th, 2010 (5 comments · 12 likes)

TV dinners and a movie tonight. Keeping it easy while we wait out the November TORNADO watch! Who woudda thunk it?!?! :-/
7:07pm November 22nd, 2010 (3 comments · 1 like)

Getting ready to meet up and go to dinner with my sisters and a group of ladies who have all been moms to me & my sisters, and will take time to honor and remember the one who is not with us. Thanks sister-lou (Bridgette) for organizing this. :)
2:46pm November 21st, 2010 (2 comments · 6 likes)

Happily sitting here (with occasional dancing around the room) with the radio cranked, eating my Chinese food! Just wishing I didn't have to leave for work in a few minutes. Darn.
6:26pm November 20th, 2010 (3 comments)

There are moments in life when you wish you could bring someone down from heaven and spend the day with them just one more time. I know I have someone I would love to do that with...If you have someone, copy and paste this to your status to remember all who are not here...gone ...but...never forgotten...... Life is not the same with out you! Love you Mom!!
3:35pm November 19th, 2010 (5 comments · 4 likes)

...needs a back massage.
9:04pm November 17th, 2010 (3 comments · 2 likes)

If you see my brain anywhere could you send it back home to me please. Got up 10min AFTER we should have LEFT for school. I started driving to E's school just now when I should have been picking up KJ at his. And I see now KJ's sweaters been on backwards all day too. Such a Monday!!
11:57am November 15th, 2010 (6 comments · 2 likes)

At the request of a great friend, i post the following:"We are asking everyone to say a prayer for "Darkhorse" 3rd Battalion 5th Marines and their families. They are fighting it out in Afghanistan and have lost 9 marines in 4 days. Please re-post this. More info here: http://www.snopes.com/inboxer/prayer/darkhorse.asp
4:01pm November 10th, 2010 (1 like)

Had a yummy dinner with friends from work and then went SWING DANCING!!! WAAHOO!!!! Great night! Oh so tired now.
10:58pm November 9th, 2010 (5 comments · 8 likes)

'd rather work a holiday than the "fall back" Daylight Savings on third shift. You know what that means?!?!?!? A 13 hour shift people!!!!! Sucks!
4:29pm November 6th, 2010 (11 comments · 2 likes)

I just had someone come to the door asking if I wanted to sell my van for cash. It was a Hispanic family. He had $650 on him, and I told him $1000. I didn't tell him everything wrong with it. He is going to come back or call me but he wants to pick it up tomorrow. I said we'd need to talk cause I have to find another car first. Is this way too shady on either end or what do you think?
4:38pm October 31st, 2010 (14 comments)

Kids had a blast with their cousin filled weekend! First playtime with "little cousins" then special time with some big ones! Thank You!!! Now on to Halloween and overnight at the grandparents.
2:37pm October 31st, 2010 (2 likes)

Is completely clueless about what to do....
1:19pm October 29th, 2010 (6 comments)

I think that UGG boots thing is a computer virus. I would STAY AWAY and not click on anything and delete any invitations ASAP! Grrr!
9:11am October 27th, 2010 (9 comments)

☆•*¨*•¸¸¸.•*¨*•☆Put this on your status if you have the most beautiful DAUGHTER in the world☆•*¨*•.¸¸¸.•*¨*•☆
9:18pm October 26th, 2010 (5 likes)

Oh....it DOES get worse. Both my kids are puking. At my friends house and I am about to go get them. And bring them here with the broken toilet. If someone knows a plumber that works on Sundays. I need a contact NOW!!!!
2:08pm October 24th, 2010 (15 comments)

...and now the toilet is broken. I think I am seriously just going to go piss on the carpet in the basement along my cat. Why not? Yesterday I slept in the backseat of my van, peeing on the ground is only a natural progression.
8:59am October 24th, 2010 (13 comments)

Kaedon just asked what we thought the "Halloween Bunny" was going to bring him.... *I am rolling my eyes and laughing at that boy*
7:35pm October 21st, 2010 (6 comments · 8 likes)

A fever is NOT what need right now. Uuuuuuughhh!!!!! Seriously!
6:20pm October 20th, 2010 (5 comments)

I guess I was exhausted. Passed out on the couch in my clothes about 8:30 I think. Kids slept on the couch with me until I moved me and Kaedon to his bed. At least I don't have to get dressed to take Elise to school in a minute. :/~
7:25am October 19th, 2010 (2 comments · 2 likes)

Whether they are big ( • )( • ) or small (.) (.) we need to save them all. Repost this for Breast Cancer Awareness! Go PINK!!!
12:16pm October 14th, 2010 (1 comment · 5 likes)

going to attempt to get drunk and........fold laundry.
7:44pm October 13th, 2010 (11 comments · 7 likes)

A few observations: #1 Its THUNDERING! #2 You know its bad thing when your own napping needs exceed those of your young children.
9:48am October 13th, 2010 (6 likes)

Van needs $500-$1000 in work for just ONE issue that renders it worthless as a trade in, my house reaks of cat piss, There are branches ruining my roof, gutters are full, front deck porch is apart with broken boards...and a million other little things here need to be fixed/bought/replaced that will cost me $$, time and help I don't have. Can someone just dig me a hole to crawl into now?
3:52pm October 12th, 2010 (10 comments)

..may have slightly overdone it practicing one handed cartwheels, back-walk overs, and handstands this morning after working on my feet all night. Heehee. I'm never to old to stay young.
9:12am October 10th, 2010 (11 comments · 3 likes)

Super Happy Birthday wishes to my dad Hank Zerfas!!!
10:57am October 7th, 2010 (3 likes)

Has a guy singing a love song in her ear and kissing her cheeks all over.
12:14pm September 27th, 2010 (4 comments · 9 likes)

Has some kind of gnat or fruit fly infestation in my house and its driving me NUTS!!! Am I just unlucky or is it bad this year or is it from the CSA from the Amish farm? I think they are gnats though....But this is GNAT cool. ;)
6:47am September 21st, 2010 (10 comments · 3 likes)

Just returned from the park/playground where we also ran around kicking a soccer ball, after which Kaedon said "That was really un-breath-ing". Hehe.
7:46pm September 15th, 2010 (3 comments · 4 likes)

Also...looking for a someone to watch my kids Tuesday from 4-7ish for a work meeting. Anyone available?!?!
6:05pm September 11th, 2010 (2 comments)

Trying to find motivation to get up, get dressed and go to work. Ugh. I don't wannnnna!!!!
5:52pm September 11th, 2010

Wishes a NTG tab would take away the heartache....
12:36am September 9th, 2010 (4 comments)

Needs a wine fairy....
8:50pm September 5th, 2010 (6 comments · 2 likes)

Took Elise to the docs. Yes Poison Ivy. Got steroids. "They may make her a bit irritable" Bwaahaahaaaa!!!! Thats soooo funny. Anyone who's spent time with my daughter will understand my exasperated laughing and shaking of my head.
3:15pm September 2nd, 2010 (7 comments)

Elise has a rash all over her face that spread overnight to other patches on her body. I'm thinking its poison ivy given the way it spread. Is it usually treated w/ OTC stuff or should I absolutely take her in???
12:23pm September 1st, 2010 (13 comments)

Wishes I was sleeping.....
2:36pm August 28th, 2010 (5 comments · 2 likes)

A little bit ago my kids got dressed up and went outside to have a wedding and "get married" (to each other). And just now at the dinner table they want to know how to have kids. Aaaaahhhhhhh!!!!!! I just started harping on them to finish eating and changed the subject, lol.
6:12pm August 26th, 2010 (8 comments · 2 likes)

After feeding chickens and gathering eggs at a friends yesterday I had the following conversation with KJ: KJ: So what kind of eggs are these mom? Me: They are chicken eggs silly, we got them from the chickens remember? KJ: Noooo, what KIND are they? Me: They are brown eggs..... I guess I don't know what you are asking. KJ: I MEAN....are they scrambled or one of the other kind!!!!!!
2:20pm August 25th, 2010 (1 comment · 7 likes)

My kids have been SO awful today, beyond words. They will be going to bed in a few minutes. This should go over just spectacular. Pray for me....and their behinds.
7:06pm August 24th, 2010 (9 comments)

Tis been a true, complete day in Michigan my friends! I've gone out for breakfast, laid in then sun, swam a few laps in a pool, sat in a hot tub, climbed part of Sleeping Bear Dunes, took a a scenic drive, visited dear family friends, made it back home in good time and put the kids to bed!
11:25pm August 18th, 2010 (11 comments · 7 likes)

Ok! I have reached best mom in the world status today. lets see how long this can last! It only took about 100 bucks lol.
2:25pm August 17th, 2010 (2 comments · 3 likes)

Wishing it had been a warmer & less windy day for the beach in TC.
5:23pm August 16th, 2010 (1 comment)

Has a MAJOR computer virus that is crashing my computer now, lovely! On a positive note, I've had a great weekend off of work having fun.
6:30pm August 14th, 2010 (5 comments)

Is it acceptable to have a bowl of ice cream with my glass of wine?
9:10pm August 12th, 2010 (22 comments · 3 likes)

Finally has a caffeine buzz going....coffee this morning, pepsi now and making chocolate-chocolate chip cookies ....hehehehe. Now to keep from crashing, lol. Gotta keep up with the kids somehow.
1:37pm August 11th, 2010 (7 comments)

Wondering what to do Fri or Sat since I have the weekend off work... And wondering what to do tonight with 4 kids in this heat and humidity that won't be miserable, but still wear them out....
4:00pm August 10th, 2010 (7 comments)

Only 4 hrs of sleep last nite. but I've grocery shopped at Family Fare, Meijers, & the pet store, dropped and picked E up from day camp, done dishes and dropped off a cake. Now to majorly clean & pick up the house and find something for dinner. The next two days I'll have my nephews here too, should be crazy and hopefully fun!
4:42pm August 9th, 2010 (4 comments)

I need a new washer and dryer!!! My dryer is officially dead and the washer is on its last legs too. Oh and the van needs major work or to be traded in soon as well. But my first priority is to figure out how to hang a million little pairs of kids underware on a clothes line. I'm NOT putting mine out there for the pervert neighbor to see however.
2:58pm August 4th, 2010 (5 comments)

Tuesday night concert series at Meijer Gardens starts TOMORROW!!!!! So excited! I almost forgot it was Aug already! One of the best perks of a membership.
8:11pm August 2nd, 2010 (1 like)

Kaedon has just informed me that everything I do with them is "bo-wing". He wants me to do something REALLY fun with them.....like take them to outerspace. I'll get right on that.
11:49am August 2nd, 2010 (2 comments · 7 likes)

Is bored and listening to crickets....
9:38pm July 30th, 2010 (4 comments)

KJ: (Rambles on about Darth Vader not wanting to wear clothes and how DV is complaining about his clothes and he has to wash them in warm water to shrink them so they fit). Me: "You've got quite the imagination Kaedon" KJ: "NO MOM, I'm NOT Imaginating"
9:29am July 30th, 2010 (5 comments · 5 likes)

Has a broken toe. At least it sorta matches my purplish toenail polish. Tis pretty swollen after 13 hrs on my feet at work though. *sigh* And my stomach is growling at me to find food, but body wants me to sleep and my skin wants me to take a shower. What to do!?
8:27am July 25th, 2010 (9 comments)

is so fricken sick of not being able to sleep! I'm tired of being wide awake in the dark by myself every weeknight and dead tired everyday.
3:43am July 19th, 2010 (9 comments)

Just spent way too much $ garage sale-ing this afternoon with the kids. They had a blast buying stuff (with their own money!). Now I need to get rid of tons of my stuff I guess.
1:35pm July 9th, 2010 (2 likes)

Off to have some awesome "girl time" with Elise!!!! KJ's with his cousins. Thank you Aunt Traci!! You are a brave woman. Elise wants me to tell you we are going to see "The Last Song". <3 color="gray">8:08pm July 7th, 2010 (2 likes)

Gonna head to Meijer Gardens for a bit of walking and sunshine. They are open till 9pm Mon & Tues!! I can get one guest in free if anyone wants to call my cell and meet me there. :)
4:14pm July 5th, 2010 (4 comments · 2 likes)

Don't ever put a 4 yr old in charge of the hose....even if he's on your "team" in the water fight.
5:40pm June 30th, 2010 (1 comment · 12 likes)

Is thankful for all the friends at work that make it fun and are so willing to work as a team!
8:45am June 27th, 2010 (4 likes)

Not happy the neighbors started a construction project RIGHT outside my bedroom window at 1130. 2.5 hours of sleep should be enough to get me through the next night shift right???
12:50pm June 26th, 2010 (5 comments)

Hears the ominous thunder getting closer and closer..... I'm kind of "over" all the rain and storms and just ready for some nice summer nights...and less mud!
9:35pm June 23rd, 2010 (3 likes)

TORNADO WARNING!!! CRAP!
1:02am June 22nd, 2010 (11 comments)

WHY when its finally beautiful out and we have options for outdoor water front fun, does my son have a high temp and no energy? :(
11:37am June 21st, 2010 (3 comments)

Having a bit of a slumber party with two extra kids tonight. And had a visit from a friend and her son. Lots o' kids. Fun, fun! Now to figure out bedtime and sleeping arrangements...
8:23pm June 16th, 2010 (5 comments · 2 likes)

Hey family, Elise is going to camp at the GR Civic Theatre this week and will have a performance on Friday (the 18th) at 11:00am for anyone interested in coming. <3 color="gray">1:15am June 14th, 2010 (2 comments)

IVO'd from work. Thinking I might go get some Taco Boy (wet burrito!) and then go shopping.
6:57pm June 5th, 2010 (2 comments · 5 likes)

Just got a bill for the MRI that Elise had last month (that was negative for anything causing her bowel/bladder issues) and even though I work for a hospital & pay about $300/mo for my insurance, my bill is still over $500 and I'm sure thats just part of it, for the actual scan, not the radiologist or anything else.
3:38pm June 3rd, 2010 (8 comments)

Still no freaking power! This royally sucks. Bowls of cereal for dinner to use up the milk...if its still good. GRRR!!!
5:07pm May 31st, 2010 (4 comments)

So much for the kids maybe sleeping in, holy thunder and lightening!!!! Not very good parade weather either. :( Wonder how long it will last.
7:06am May 31st, 2010 (3 comments)

Is not sure what to do now that I'm home with no kids.... SO WEIRD!!!
8:24pm May 28th, 2010 (5 comments · 2 likes)

Oh my! Up to work my first EVER day shift. Just filling in some holes today and tomorrow. I may experience a huge void without Curious George at 8am and my late morning nap!!!
6:08am May 28th, 2010 (1 comment · 2 likes)

Thank you SO MUCH for all the birthday wishes! I'm having drinks with my sisters after our girly movie. Its been a good day!
10:41pm May 27th, 2010 (4 comments · 4 likes)

A friendly summer tip: Its best not to shoo mosquitos off your leg while holding a razor blade. I'm just saying. Hehehe.
2:02pm May 26th, 2010 (3 comments)

The power comapny is changing another transformer or something today so the power is scheduled to off from 9am till 3. Hoping thats all cause I've lots of laundry to do.
7:59am May 26th, 2010 (4 comments · 1 like)

I did not know it was suppose to be THIS hot and humid today. Yikes. I have dishes done and three windows re-screened though. Still have to do more laundry and other stuff though. Then maybe the splashpad at Millenium after I pick up Elise.
11:53am May 24th, 2010 (4 comments · 1 like)

Its way too early and I wanna go back to bed. But instead I need to get a little fired up cause its FIELD DAY at Elise's school!!! At least its gonna be a nice hot day for it!
7:07am May 20th, 2010 (3 comments)

I just got home from work and walked in the door to discover my house had been ransacked and trashed. Then I realized I just haven't cleaned in a while....
7:34am May 16th, 2010 (4 comments · 9 likes)

Wants to take a longer nap, read a bit of my book, watch a movie and snuggle under a blanket tonight. But instead I'm off to work tonight. *sigh* Oh to have wants.....
6:16pm May 15th, 2010 (3 comments · 1 like)

WARNING ANYONE WHO HAS GOTTEN A TON OF FRIEND SUGGESTIONS BE CAREFUL! IT IS A VIRUS! IF YOU ACCEPT THEM YOUR ACCOUNT WILL SEND OUT ABOUT 85 TO SOMEONE ELSE!!! THIS IS A FACT! IT IS HAPPENING AS I AM WRITING THIS! WARN YOUR FRIENDS NOW.
8:03pm May 13th, 2010 (7 comments)

A very bored KJ: "We need to pick up Elise from school, RIGHT now" Me:"Why? So you can have someone to pick on and fight with?" KJ: "YES!" *At least he was honest*
1:23pm May 12th, 2010 (1 comment · 1 like)

Right now theres a nurse helping a woman become a mom, a nurse holding the hand of a dying man, a nurse inserting an IV in a child, a nurse listening to an Alzheimers patient tell a story, a nurse missing their family while caring for yours. In the minute it took you to read this nurses all over the world are saving lives.... ♥ Its nurses week.
6:32pm May 8th, 2010 (5 comments · 19 likes)

Does anyone wanna come try and start my lawn mower. Or even better mow it for me?!?!?! Grrrrr!!!
6:40pm May 6th, 2010 (3 comments)

Heading out to Meijer Gardens in a few minutes. Beautiful day to be outside! Hope I can find my way there with the expressway closed that direction. Hmmm?
5:00pm May 4th, 2010 (1 comment · 2 likes)

is going to attempt to make a turtle.....
4:04pm May 1st, 2010 (4 comments · 1 like)

Just "loves" it when I finish a long shift at work, come home and settle down with a bowl of cereal and get to nearly the end of it and discover Flour Beetles. UGH. Disgusting. And then I of course had to empty out my cupbaord where I saw several more. It just never ends.
9:19am April 24th, 2010 (5 comments)

ATTENTION!!! Thereis going to be a benefit this Sunday, on April 25th for (John's Aunt)Pam Smigiel, diagnosed with liver cancer, at the Creston VFW hall, 1535Monroe NE from noon until 6:00 pm. Natchez Trace, 13thHour, and JohnAndrews will play. We also have special guest drummer,Tommy Davis.It'll be a g...reat event!! There will be auctions, raffles, and a soup cook off.
3:51pm April 22nd, 2010

My kids are outside playing with my sister, and in need of baths and its now bedtime. I think I'm just gonna go get a wine cooler and pretend I don't know what time it is while the house is quiet.
8:30pm April 21st, 2010 (3 comments · 8 likes)

is wondering: If I call CPS on myself will they (please) come take my child away. Cause I guarantee no one else would want him right now.... I seriously was about to leave him at the grocery store and just walk away a bit ago.
8:56am April 20th, 2010 (9 comments · 1 like)

My mind is aglow with whirling, transient nodes of thought careening thru a cosmic vapor of invention...
3:43pm April 18th, 2010 (4 comments)

...A beautiful day and I think fun for the kids, complete with a trip to the playground, digging in dirt, catching (and kissing for KJ) toads, collecting worms, and relaxing and playing outside.
9:42pm April 15th, 2010 (2 comments · 2 likes)

Needs to find some energy today. I don't seem to have ANY. Ugh.
11:47am April 14th, 2010 (3 comments)

I have my nephews here for the day!! It will be a LONG one, lol. It makes 2 four yr olds and a 2yr old, and later we'll pick up Elise from school. I just put dinner in the crock pot, but have already resorted to "wanna watch a movie", lol. Now to make me some coffee and figure out how to keep these boy busy today. ;)
9:19am April 12th, 2010 (3 comments)

A little steamed rat for Dexter, some turkey pot pie and cornbread for me and the kids. Hehehe.
6:18pm April 11th, 2010 (8 comments · 1 like)

Kaedon just confessed he put a "real" egg in his pocket on Easter at Grammy's house and hid it upstairs in the toy room. Bwaahahaha!!! Do you smell anything Tammy? Elise said she put the found/missing necklace in the big toy box.
3:10pm April 9th, 2010 (3 comments · 3 likes)

Trying to get out the door and on the road soon to head to Double JJ Ranch for some indoor waterpark fun for the kids.
11:58am April 7th, 2010 (1 comment · 6 likes)

Just remembered its Tuesday and FMG is open till 9!!!! Heading out for some nasty fast food somewhere so I can take the kids to see butterflies. Hoping its not too busy there.
6:09pm April 6th, 2010 (3 likes)

HAIL!!!!! It was pretty big too. Our front yard (mud pit) is completely flooded right now. The kids are hoping the power goes out, lol.
10:20am April 6th, 2010 (6 comments · 1 like)

How does the Easter Bunny stay awake? I'm afraid he's going to get too tired and miss our house. We just got home and the kids are brushing teeth and just now getting to bed at 10pm. Oiy.
10:07pm April 3rd, 2010 (2 comments)

Ok, I've known for a few weeks that we have mice in the basement from the "droppings" visible. But I just saw what I think was either a large BROWN mouse or a CHIPMUNK!!! Grrrrreat! How do I catch a chipmunk?
1:38pm April 3rd, 2010 (6 comments)

The egg hunt was a bust. Hung out for a while downtown since I paid SEVEN dollars to park for nothing. Ok, the kids got free hot dogs and juice. Now we are going to get ice cream!!!
7:10pm April 2nd, 2010 (11 comments)

Doesn't have to work this weekend. WOOOHOOOO!!!!! One of the four weekends I get off a year. So glad the weather cooperated. Hoping my kids do the same, lol. Thinking we might brave the craziness downtown for the Easter Egg hunt thing.
4:08pm April 2nd, 2010 (2 likes)

Zippity doo dah, Zippity aye........
6:39pm April 1st, 2010 (6 comments · 2 likes)

There is an online phone book site called spokeo.com. Anyone can search your name and find a lot of personal information about you (income, credit score, profession,age, how many people live at home, even a picture of you and your house!) Have yourself removed by clicking the privacy button in the bottom right corner (then check your email and confirm).
12:06am March 31st, 2010 (7 comments)

Loves that Elise's teacher didn't send a homework packet this week. Just a sheet telling them to enjoy the great weather this week and read everyday!! <3 color="gray">3:34pm March 29th, 2010 (7 comments · 2 likes)

just discovered Kaedon drew a big ol' face on the garage door last night complete with a pig nose, googly eyes, and what appears to be a beard. Probably in permanent black marker, I'm sure. OMG!!! I'm going to lock him up and loose the key.
8:07am March 26th, 2010 (6 comments · 3 likes)

Just because one can still do back bends, walk overs, and handstands to show ones daughter how its done, does not mean that ones body/muscules will be happy or fail to spasm about it later on. ;)
7:40pm March 22nd, 2010 (6 comments · 4 likes)

Yes - I have children. If you come over unannounced there WILL be toys from one end of the house to the other, dishes in the sink, and there might even be food crumbs on the floor! But we WILL be happy, and that's all that matters to us!... Re-post this if you have a house like mine :-)
1:16pm March 22nd, 2010 (3 comments · 3 likes)

We have seriously been sick in this house for over a month. Just when one of us feels better another one is sick and spreading germs again. I've had a cough for weeks, and now Kaedon has a bit of a fever AGAIN. I'm so tired of this.
7:28pm March 21st, 2010 (6 comments)

...has no recollection of turning the alarm off and way overslept. But rest assured co-workers....I still managed to shower. ;) Lets hope tonight is not nearly as busy and crazy as last night!!
6:13pm March 20th, 2010 (2 comments · 1 like)

While all of you loose an hour of sleep, I will be working an hour LESS!!! Boooya!!!!! WOOHOO!!!! I'm not excited about that or anything. I wait for this night all year, LOL.
6:16pm March 13th, 2010 (7 comments · 8 likes)

Won free tickets to the Circus tonight from 105.7!! And luckily it works out great cause Elise doesn't have school tomorrow either.
1:15pm March 11th, 2010 (4 comments · 2 likes)

Is sick of: repeating the same requests and directions 250,000 times before anyone listens, loosing Elise's Library book on the day its due at school, and Kaedon yelling my name over and over when I don't respond in .2 seconds. Geez, it feels like a Monday. I wanna go back to bed.
7:58am March 11th, 2010 (2 comments · 2 likes)

So my neighbor just took down my Christmas lights.....I guess they were bugging her, LOL. She's actually the one who helped me put them up though too. I suppose it was time, LOL.
4:04pm March 8th, 2010 (13 comments · 2 likes)

Well, except for a grouchy son, the family dinner & birthday party was successful. Now off to get the kids in bed so I can enjoy the cleaned up house, the rest of the wine and maybe watch a movie......
7:39pm March 7th, 2010 (2 comments · 3 likes)

Missing my brother Mike Corby today and wishing 3/5/09 was only the bad dream it seems to be. RIP Mike Corby
8:30am March 5th, 2010 (15 comments · 1 like)

Kaedon woke me up at 4:30am to tell me it was "Zero days till his birthday now". Hehehe. Somebody is excited to be a Birthday Boy today!!! I wouldn't have thought it was so cute if he didn't go back to bed. I can't believe he is FOUR!!!
7:00am March 4th, 2010 (9 comments · 3 likes)

Kaedon has declared today that he is "allergic to kisses".... It must be the type that develops after MANY repeat exposures. ;) And him and his dad are "Dudes" so they like Sports and me and Elise are girls....so we like- butterflies....
6:53pm March 2nd, 2010 (7 comments · 5 likes)

Is loving life.......cereal. ;) I'm actually SOOOO ready to tune "life" out and sleep after a long night of work. Whew!
8:16am February 28th, 2010 (7 comments · 1 like)

Elise had a "rough" first day back at school after being sick all week: An assembly, an ice cream party, and a movie.... Needless to say, she survived! ;)
3:57pm February 26th, 2010 (2 comments · 5 likes)

I'm hungry, stomach growling. But nothing "sounds good" to me. Hmmm???
9:37pm February 25th, 2010 (8 comments)

Waiting for the power to go out in an hour. Not sure what we are gonna do today. Hoping the house stays warm enough for a few hours.
7:59am February 24th, 2010 (4 comments)

Just learned we are loosing power from 9am till 3pm tomorrow for them to change a transformer. GREAT. I have no idea what we are gonna do all day or what to do with the snake who needs heat. Grrr!
1:09pm February 23rd, 2010 (8 comments)

Think I'm gonna head to Meijer Gardens with the kids. Elise stayed home again, but seems fine and its so nice out. Might as well try to have fun.
12:25pm February 23rd, 2010 (1 comment · 1 like)

Not suprising me and Elise caught Kaedon's cold, despite all the Lysol I used last week. I just caught him licking a door knob. WHY oh why?!?! Miss E is home sick from school today, but I was fine with not going out in the snow.
12:16pm February 22nd, 2010 (9 comments)

Kaedon woke up sreaming with ear pain. KEeps crying, is miserable, won't sleep. He's had a cold, so I'm sure its an ear infection. What to do now at 1230am?
12:39am February 19th, 2010 (5 comments)

KJ is singing over and over... "In my room I go boom, boom, boom...." I don't know where he heard it or what it is....kinda odd hearing it from an almost 4yr old. ;)~
7:04pm February 17th, 2010 (5 comments · 2 likes)

Wondering when/if Kaedons nasty cough and intermittent fever is gonna go away, and hoping I don't catch it.
9:27am February 16th, 2010 (2 comments)

has done absolutely nothing today. Still in jammies even. Is it worth getting dressed now?
2:51pm February 15th, 2010 (5 comments)

Doesn't care what freakin' day it is as long as I have some chocolate!!!
5:20pm February 14th, 2010 (3 comments · 7 likes)

Somewhat happy for the snow day (if I can keep the kids from fighting all day). Although it doesn't look all that bad out there now that the sun is shining!
9:14am February 10th, 2010 (1 comment)

Gonna be a busy day with lots to get done, but I have no energy and on Mondays my body is not quite off the night schedule and I just want to sleep all day. Must.resist.napping.
8:14am February 8th, 2010 (1 comment)

A backward poet --writes inverse.
8:48am February 7th, 2010 (7 comments · 1 like)

Is looking for a new/additional job. Probably during the day 3-4 hours a few days a week. Any ideas or leads for me?? I'm getting called off so much at work I loose several hundred $$/month. This puts me in such a big mess financially, I don't know whether to cry, scream, or just sedate myself.
10:45pm February 5th, 2010 (9 comments)

So my crabby kiddo FINALLY fell asleep on the couch next to me and looked so sweet and peaceful so I cradled him on my lap marveling at his cuteness while he slept...and then he peed all over my lap.......
12:47pm February 4th, 2010 (13 comments · 12 likes)

Totally stole this from a "Brian Nowak" who posted on WoodTV8's page, but it made me giggle which is a small miracle tonight: ♫ ♪ "Snow on da ground, snow on da ground, looking like a fool with your car spun around. Driving on the ice with your car goin' sideways, slidin' on the highways, mailbox hit sideways! Driving like a fool with your car spun around..."♫ ♪
9:08pm February 2nd, 2010 (1 comment · 3 likes)

Who gave my son speed? I need a reversal agent. The walls are not padded but he's literally running around so fast he's slamming himself into them anyway.
6:32pm February 1st, 2010 (8 comments)

Whatever you give a woman, she will make it greater. Give her sperm, she will give you a baby. Give her a house, she will give you a home. Give her groceries, she will give you a meal. Give her a smile n she will give you her heart. She multiplies and enlarges what she is given. So if you give her crap, be ready to receive a ton of shit..... :) Repost if you like!
7:12pm January 31st, 2010 (8 comments · 10 likes)

So seven years ago last night I missed a shift at work because I was busy a few floors up giving birth to a precious little girl. I have no idea how SEVEN years went by so fast, but its been wonderful to watch my beautiful girl grow.
11:31am January 30th, 2010 (14 comments · 8 likes)

IVO'd, no kids. Does anyone wanna go out to dinner?
5:25pm January 29th, 2010 (11 comments)

Grrrrrr!!
8:01pm January 27th, 2010 (3 comments · 1 like)

So who wants to babysit tomorrow night?
7:35pm January 25th, 2010 (11 comments)

Just signed up to get freebie Cream of Wheat, dried fruit, Kashi bars, and a Veggie Tales DVD sent my way through links at Common Sense with Money. And also the snake finally ate late last night so he is off his (exactly) 3 month diet plan!!!! Good start to the week!
8:35am January 25th, 2010 (5 comments · 1 like)

My short-term memory is not as sharp as it used to be. Also, my short-term memory's not as sharp as it used to be.
9:31am January 23rd, 2010 (5 comments · 10 likes)

I have kleptomania, but when it gets bad, I take something for it.
6:11pm January 22nd, 2010 (4 comments · 7 likes)

Braving a late, brief trip to the Children's Museum.
5:52pm January 21st, 2010 (6 comments · 1 like)

Looking for a pair of small dentures for Elise... ;) She's becoming my toothless wonder. Third one gone in the bottom front tonight!
5:34pm January 17th, 2010 (3 comments · 2 likes)

Getting ready to frantically straighten things before everyone comes over for Nana's Birthday! Happy Birthday Grandma!
4:25pm January 14th, 2010 (1 comment · 2 likes)

Is glad Jimmy Fallon is not getting bumped off. He's at least the cutest one of the bunch. And quite talented I think!
12:49am January 14th, 2010 (5 comments)

Thinks I'll be spending another night sleeping on the bathroom floor. I'll take an NG and Fexiseal bag please. You might as well tube and diprivan me so I can sleep through it too.
7:49pm January 8th, 2010 (13 comments)

Blanc, Blanco, Bianco, Blanke, 怀特, البيض
11:05pm January 6th, 2010 (5 comments · 1 like)

Called off work tonight and unexpectedly home with the kiddos.
6:03pm January 1st, 2010 (6 comments · 2 likes)

Why hello there!?!?

2010-07-04T13:58:00.005-05:00

Where have the last many, many months gone? Well, lets see. I guess I have neglected to post anything out there in the big wide world web, and quite frankly have been pretty quiet IRL with things because I feel so sick of trying to update people to all the drama in my life.

The biggest thing I've been quiet about to most people is that I've been separated for about 8 months now. Since Oct of 09. So life as a single mom is just too busy to keep up with everybody or everything. And the random MAYHEM just never seems to end. But alas, I am still here and kickin'. And overall we are all doing quite well!! Hope everyone's summers are filled with lots of fun and sunshine!!!

Summer break is over!!!

2009-09-03T23:16:00.011-05:00

And I know I haven't posted much. I'm still spending way too much time on my parening boards and facebook. That darn Farkle!!! So in any case, I really don't feel as much *need* to blog. But then again just tonight I was looking for a picture that I knew I posted on here (to figure out which file it was in on my computer) and I browsed through the entire history of my blog. I may not have frequent entries and a few large gaps, but it dates back a few YEARS now. The most amazing and bittersweet of everything is looking at the pics of my kids and how big they are now. Man. WHERE does the time go!?! I'm going to be saying that for the next 40-50 years aren't I? It is neat to go back and read all the little things I mention about them and stories I tell. So heck...somehow I need to blog. Plus I think I can get to blogger from work and pretty much all the other sites I visit are blocked. Maybe I should try to blog on my breaks at work...you know if I'm not already behind on charting.

So I cannot believe this summer is officially over. Elise starts school Tuesday. We have the long weekend left and then school. Crazy. She will be a first grader. We had her orientation today and visited her classroom and saw who her teacher would be. She is excited and doesn't appear nervous at all, like psht...piece of CAKE mom!

The past couple of weeks I've literally been trying to cram in as much activity and trips to parks and stuff as I can. It will be SO weird to have Elise in school all day, everyday. Last year was just 1/2 days. Poor Kaedon is going to be a little lost without her. I'm hoping to do a little bit of preschool homeschooling with him, but he doesn't seem to be interested. Hmmm....we'll see how it goes. The boy just NEEDS to learn some basic respect/listening/following direction skills or I'm going to go nuts. He still is TERRIFIED to poop on the potty for some reason. I mean literally shakes and screams and acts horrified it will hurt him. We are working on that. I forced him to sit there despite the trauma a few nights ago and he finally went on the pot. He'd been holding it for two days or more cause he'd been in underwear.

On the pooping note, we've still had bad constipation issues with Elise resulting in more UTI's and FINALLY got our long awaited (SIX MONTH WAIT) to a pediatric GI....for of COURSE the very first day of school. I will have to get her early, which will be quite hectic, but what do you do? It just irks me though. I really hope she doesn't have major issues this year at school and I'm stressed about what they are going to want me to give her. Ugh.

So as not to leave on that "crappy" note (heehee) I will post some pics from the summer (for some reason they are looking grainy and pixelated to me here):

Tired out after a long day on "vacation" at the water park.

Swimming in Lake Michigan at sunset!

Lake Michigan Sunset (@Kirk Park)

Getting ready to go fishing!

Dancing at the local botanical gardens and sculpture park!

Evidently I've reached the limit on posted pictures for my post cause it won't let me add more. I haven't done much with my Photoblog either, but I think some changes are soon to come!!

Oh BLOG how I miss thee....

2009-06-30T16:32:00.001-05:00

I promise I will update you sometime soon. Between Faceb**k, Twitt*r and multiple other chat boards, I'm so sorry you come in last. Its just that pretty much everyone who reads you can read those other places as well. I do need to get new pics up though either here or the photoblog (which I've also neglected).

Spring Break! Here and Gone!!

2009-04-11T03:49:00.005-05:00

Too bad I was too lazy, worn out and broke to do much with the kids this past week! And it was cold till about Thursday. Poor kids only got two days with sunshine. But anywho...

Last weekend I had Saturday night off work which almost NEVER happens, so I went to a concert with my sisters. I'm not sure if I'm up to admitting who it was though, LOL. Wanna take any guesses for fun?? It was so fun to just go out, be a little crazy and hang with my sisters. We haven't been out ALL together for something FUN in a LONG time!!

Then the next morning I got up early and headed to an all day seminar for Nature Photography given by a really neat and pretty renouwn couple in the photography business. It was really informative, a TON of information to process. The things that cracked me up though were the casual way they'd throw in little tips of shooting in the Galapagos Islands or Africa. You know, cause I get there all the time for nature shots. But at least I know what $1,000+ (some as much as $7,000)lenses, tripods and other equipment I might need.

We didn't do anything big and fantastic over DD's break from school, which I feel a little bad about, but summer break will be here soon anyway right? We did make it down to see my sister & brother in law who just had a baby last Thursday. I took about 300 pictures that I have yet to sort and process and upload somewhere for her to see. Maybe I will post some on my Photoblog when I get done.

So here I am back at work this weekend, working an extra night (Easter) which kinda sucks, but I'll get an extra day off next weekend and get another Saturday off!! Rock on! I'm kinda liking this every other weekend of three in a row, than just one shift the next week. I've been trying to see if there's a way to do this every month. Gotta run, work calls!

Where to begin....?

2009-03-18T10:07:00.004-05:00

Well, its likely that most people who read my blog (the one or two of you) already know about Mike, but just in case you don't I will fill you in. Shortly after my last post it was determined that Mike's cancer was too far gone for the stem cell transplant and they planned to send him home on hospice Friday March 6th. God had other plans however, and he suddenly passed away on Thursday the 5th. My sisters and I tried to get down to Ohio to see him, but did not make it in time, but were still very thankful we went. The funeral was the following weekend (just this past weekend) so the next week was spent making funeral arrangements and spending hours on sorting, scanning, printing, and arranging pictures for the many picture boards we did. It was actually quite therapeutic and actually left me feeling good to spend that time with my family. We were able to laugh & cry (and drink wine) together. I think Mike was up there smiling down on us. I was at my parents house everyday that week and then the "visitation" was on Friday and funeral on Saturday. Thankfully DH was able to take time off work. His boss was fantastic and overly gracious about everything which was very nice. Those 8 days went by in a blur and I barely saw my kids. Its just good to be back on a regular schedule this week.

I have however been thinking about all my time on the computer and the time that I am not with my kids. I have 3 boards that I post on regularly (Birth boards and a local parenting board), Facebook and my blog (two blogs technically). I cannot shake the overwhelming fear that someday I will loose one of my own children early to some catastrophe (or cancer). I think of all the time now when I tell them "just a minute" so I can read one more blog, or check facebook one more time or reply to one more post. I spend A LOT of time on the computer each day when I should be cherishing my own kids. SO....just when I felt like I was maybe getting in a blogging grove a month ago, I might fall out of it. I'm not sure. I just know I want to walk away from the computer more to read more books and play more games with my kids. Cause quite frankly I just don't know how long God will leave them here.

My heart hurts....

2009-02-22T03:12:00.005-05:00

Its just so heavy right now and I feel like I'm loosing hope in anything and everything these days. There is just so much going on in my life and at work, my head in is a whirlwind.

As I've posted about before, my step-brother Mike is awaiting final word on Monday as to whether he will go through with a stem cell transplant that was planned for the beginning of March. This next week he is scheduled to get plasma apheresis (kind of like dialysis) everyday to harvest his own cells that would be treated with a bit of chemo and then given back to him. However, he has had more symptoms and evidence that the chemo he has been recieving (even the SUPER high doses) have not been working enough to make the stem cell transplant possible or a viable option. If this is true...well....I don't want to even go there, but there are very limited to no options left. I'm sick thinking about it. I want so badly to feel hopeful and optimistic, and I try, but I'm just so afraid. I feel like I'm on the verge of loosing my mind.

THEN...yesterday (Saturday) afternoon I went to pick up the kids from the babysitter and she had just gotten a phone call as I walked in the door. I could immediately tell it was NOT good news and could tell she was talking to Marni, the mom of two other little kids that she watches in her home daycare. We overlap times a bit with this family and in fact they, or rather the husband Josh had called me about a year ago to check refereces for the sitter. He was usually the one to pick up and drop off the young boys (ages 2 and 1). Well yesterday morning he suddenly died. DIED!! He had a history of cancer that he was still recieving some treatments for, but was totally functional, working, and otherwise quite healthy. I don't know any of the details, but I cannot stop thinking about it. It is awful, and I feel so bad for the poor little kids who were so well cared for and loved by their daddy. And for my sitter....I left her sobbing, and then her son started sobbing. If you could pray for Marni, Gabe and Jacob and their family/friends, I know they could use it.

So anyway, I'm just so sick of cancer, and people dying right now, I can't take anymore!! In a few days its the anniversary of my friend Sue's death ( and I've been thinking a lot about her lately too. So thats my depressing sad post for today. Virtual hugs will be gladly accepted ;).

Free food and some fun....

2009-02-17T22:34:00.008-05:00

I'm just going to start off complaining because I have had a horrible headache all day thats only getting worse and worse. Ugh. I think its muscle/tension related, which is not new for me, but I've been lucky to NOT have major issues for many months now. All day I've been thinking "Oh it must be because I haven't had any or enough caffeine yet" or "maybe I need to eat something". However, despite my indulgences in M. Dew and plenty of food...the headache persists. Its a good thing I have a few good things to snack on though right!

That makes a nice transition into my next "topic" about the WONDERFUL prize (I freaking WON a prize) during the fun filled Carnival Week of Bloggy Givaways. Click the link to get the info on the next one. I seriously never win anything and of handful of giveaways that I entered I think I got the one I most hoped to win!! It was a big box of 100 calorie Little Debbie snacks from Mel at "A Box of Chocolates". Well...it just arrived yesterday. I was gone all day so I didn't get it till last night, so the kids and I had our "bedtime snack" from the new selection of treats!!

In other news: Miss E had "Elegant Day" last week which included square-like dancing in gym and many other prim and proper etiquette lessons. It was very cute. On that same day they exchanged Valentines and had other special things going on too. Today they celebrated the 100th day of school. (I think it was technically a few days off, but no one is really counting). This morning I made 50 pancakes so each of the kids in her class could put two pancakes next to a sausage link to make a breakfast "100". Pretty nifty eh?!! Actually I made close to 70 since the fam ate a few and I stuck about 10 in the fridge for the rest of the week. There will hopefully be more to blog about later this week as Miss E is on Winter Break after tomorrow afternoon. Usually she goes in the afternoon, but tomorrow I have to have her to school by 8am. Seriously!! How do people do that?!?! I am SOOO not a morning person. I have an awful feeling I will sleep right through till after 8. Well...I guess thats my cue to go set my alarm before I forget. Goodnight!!

Because I'm so warped and twisted...

2009-02-10T09:47:00.006-05:00

I couldn't resist....

This was formed from the dripping water off the roof. A reverse icicle. My kids thought it was really neat. I thought it looked like a phallic ice sculpture right by the front door. DH was embarrassed to have his friends see it. I tried to form snowballs around it, but alas, it was just not good packing snow.

Hey...I told you I was warped and twisted.

Spring tease...

2009-02-09T16:46:00.004-05:00

The weather has warmed up just enough the past few days to melt quite a bit of the ice and snow. Although don't be fooled, its still a bit cold out there! I think its around 40* right now. Tomorrow however, is supposed to be in the FIFTIES!! The 50's people!! It hasn't been that warm here since...since...so long I can't remember. Probably early November. Last week we even had a small handful of days with bright happy sunshine!! Today is pretty cloudy ho-hum, but at least God is giving us a little taste of spring to keep us going....I just hope its not TOO long.

Oh that reminds me...the cat snuck out, when he realized the snow on the front porch was gone. I should probably go let him back in since its a bit chilly. I'm surprised he's not meowing out there. Here kitty, kitty....

I just downloaded a ton of pictures off BOTH my camera's so I'm hoping to get around to posting some later tonight (I might put them over in the photoblog too). Here's a sampler- the sun melting the icicles off the roof overhang.

My little girl is SIX today!!!

2009-01-30T01:47:00.005-05:00

I've waited all night to post this at the time she was born. On Jan 30th 2003, my little girl was born at 1:50am. She was 6lbs 11oz and wide awake and healthy. It was such an amazing and wonderful feeling. Six years later I continue to be amazed at how much she grows and changes each day. The last year especially she has gotten so tall and her face so much more mature looking. She is amazingly beautiful, and I don't just say that because I'm biased. She has such a good heart as well. Even thought she sometimes struggles with difficult emotions for me to deal with as a mom, underneath I know most times she just wants more attention and to be reassured she is well loved. She is always excited to have "Girl Time" with me even if its only a few moments a day. Elise is into your pretty typical "girly" things right now; loves to have her nails painted, play with dolls and stuffed animals, etc...

At school she is thriving. I am floored, seriously in awe of how much she has learned and grown academically the past few months. She's gone from sounding out letters to truly reading. Its an amazing thing to hear her read aloud. It also really makes it hit home how fast she is growing up and changing. Its scary (for me). I feel like up to now she has been fairly safely under my wing, but she is starting to get brave and fly farther from home, experiencing more of the world and other people. I understand just a wee little bit of how veteran moms claim the worrying when they are truly little ones, is the easy part. Worrying when they are away or about how the "outside" world and people may affect them (or hurt them), is worse.

Well, I could ramble on about how guilty I feel that she has to go to a babysitter tonight (Friday) because both DH and I work, but it should be fine and we will celebrate earlier in the day and then on Sat too!! So I'm not gonna cry about it! Instead I'll post links to the cute things I bought her for her birthday presents.

I couldn't resist this PERFECT one:

And then this too (both are by Melissa & Doug):

And then this guitar. It was supposed to be a Christmas present, but the kids will each get one as a Birthday present instead.

I hope she will feel special and have a great day!! And I will try to pretend that I'm not old enough to have a SIX year old. :)

OMG I have a blog...

2009-01-26T22:25:00.006-05:00

I nearly forgot! Ok, ok, I didn't forget. I just never get around to updating and blogging on a regular basis. I think I'm just intimidated by all the "cool" blogs out there and feel lame to just come here and ramble about my ho-hum, nothing interesting days. That and I just lack the energy. When the kids are finally in bed, I'm usually on the couch, under a blanket zoning out to stupid television shows.

Lets see, whats new. A little over a week ago now, I took a road trip with my Dad and step-mom to see my step-brother Mike while he was in the hospital for 3.25 days getting his chemo. It was good to see him and spend time with the family. My sisters were there for one whole day too but then they ditched me (long story but they had to get back home). So all of Sunday and Monday, including the trip home I kinda felt like I was 12yrs old again, stuck hanging out with my parents with no hope of getting away. I should've used some of that time just sitting around the hospital room to blog, but my own laptop was not working so I was just borrowing my parents for quick FB and email checks. There was a good amount of ~~driving~~ back seat riding involved and I swear I had jet-lag like symptoms even though it was all car travel within the same time zone. I was hoping for a tad bit more vacation like fun included in my rare time away from the kids, but it turned out to be just pretty straightforward hotel-to-hospital-back to-hotel time. No stops for ANYTHING, not even a wine cooler. Sheesh!! But it was good, don't get me wrong.

It was AWESOME to see Mike doing so well and in relatively good health. He'll be going to Cleveland Clinic soon for stem-cell transplants and will need a LOT of prayers and good vibes to get through all this.

The kids are fantabulous. Tomorrow E has her very first school program. She is the *farmers wife* and her line is: "I suppose a Turnip souffle would bake up nicely". For the most part each kid has one line and I think they will sing a few songs and it will all be followed by cookies and juice. Fun times. I'm sure I'll have pics. I can't wait.

I think KJ got constipated last week for the first time in his life becuase I am SO.FREAKING.SICK of him crapping in his diaper. So...I MADE him go half nekkid cause I knew he had to poop....but he would.not.poop. He would beg and cry for a diaper. Its quite the ordeal. Evidently he had a huge blowout Saturday at the babysitters. Bwaahaahaa. Oops. I do feel bad actually. So we are onto another week of potty training madness. I'll keep ya posted.

Rollercoasting...

2009-01-12T21:48:00.005-05:00

Thats how I feel my week to week life is anyway. I just wish everyone in my family would understand that. And I fear that I am just not as able to swing my rhythms back and forth like I could 6 years ago when I started this crazy weekend work schedule. And to think that for a long time I was working full time (three 12hr shifts), and now its just two. But I'm likening my weekends to a trip to Cedar Point.

On Fridays I get all packed up- my stuff and the kids and take off to the amusement park. I drive all over Timbuktu to get there and then check in, drop the kids off at the childrens area (aka: babysitters) and hit the big rides (aka: ICU) for my self and my "family" (aka: co-workers). I spend ALL day on my feet, sweating, barely taking a break to pee, eating lots of junk food to keep myself going since I barely slept the night before and I'm surrounded by the sights and smells of tasty food (aka: the stupid chocolate, cookies, pizza, etc... that often grace our unit curtousy of co-workers and pt's families). I get nauseous, but I keep on trucking, trudging along for the thrill. My adrenaline constantly surging and then dropping, leaving me even more drained. My legs are achy and like rubber at the end of the day, but I still have to make it back to the hotel where I wait for my hubby to finally take responsibility for the kidlets so I can catch a few hours of sleep-like 5hrs tops. Then I wake up to deal with hyper, overtired kiddos who are eager to go have more fun too. So we set out for day #2 at the park. Luckily I don't have to deal with them while I'm at the amusement park (aka: work). So the cycle starts over and I repeat everything for a second day, only to come back home and maybe get only 2-4 hours of sleep before I'm expected to be up and ready for family activities on day three. Perhaps even a big family reunion or two where I have to seem happy and cheerful and deal with my children with grace and careful attention. I drink lots of caffeine to keep myself awake and going. I therefore cannot fall asleep that night even though my exciting vacation weekend is over. I spend the next next several days trying to unpack, do laundry and get back on schedule. I don't really see hubby cause he works and sleeps opposite my schedule so no one is there to help me. By about Thursday I'm almost finally on track. Whew.

Then Friday comes and we leave for Cedar Point again and it all starts over. This repeats 48 out of 52 weeks a year......

Happy Holidays, Merry Christmas!!!

2008-12-25T17:16:00.003-05:00

Well, it would be a bit more "merry" if I didn't have a sore throat, wasn't hacking up phlegm, and could actually ~~yell at my kids to pick their toys~~ talk above a whisper. Oh well. At least we are warm and have been snuggled in our jammies ALL day. Unfortunately the hubby had to work his normal 3-midnight schedule both yesterday and today. He was here to open gifts with the kids and make us brunch though, so that was good. Last night I braved a few family parties on my own with the kids. It started out with me getting totally wedged in the snow banks and deep snow at the end of our driveway. As I shoveled the wet, heavy snow, ready to pass out from lack of oxygen I was NOT saying Merry Christmas....OR I guess I was, but I was adding a few colorful words in the middle there. Don't worry the kids didn't hear. It was a bit of a late night but the kids at least slept till about 8:00am. Whew! The kids had lots o' fun opening and playing with their gifts all day. The house is a disaster, but who cares right? I need to go scrounge up something for dinner. Not exactly the fancy Christmas dinner most are having I'm sure. It will likely be some sort of chicken and pasta...something quick. Maybe even chicken nuggets and mac n' cheese. I have to get the pics off my camera, and then I'll have lots more to post, but the kidlets are hungry. Hope today has been warm and happy for all of you!! Happy Holidays!!!

Coniferous Erecti1e Dy$function...

2008-12-17T10:26:00.007-05:00

This is a condition in which the coniferous has trouble staying "up", and suffers a loss of function. This disease/dysfunction may cause others around it to exhibit symptoms such as involuntary fits of laughter, swearing, and sweating. It has also been know to cause rashes of the arms and hands. Although the tree is not erect, it may still emit a clear sticky substance that may stain or cause irritation to others around it. With proper planning and attention, this condition can usually be avoided, however it is sometimes more prevalent when coexisting with cats and small children, and sometimes dumb men.

Whew, all done! And actually I added more garland and overall was happier with how it looked after the second "decorating" party with the kids. We pretty much had to start over. *rolls eyes*. Lets hope the stupid thing doesn't fall again!!!

Stay tuned for lots o' random tree and ornament pics and pics of the kidlets...I think I'll post them on my Photoblog.

Oh Christmas Tree, Oh Christmas Tree....

2008-12-15T23:37:00.009-05:00

So last night (Sunday) was the only afternoon/night of the week that DH would be home at the same time to take the kids out to get a tree. We did the whole fake vs. real debate again. For a few years we borrowed a gorgeous fake one from a good friend that took out of state contract jobs and wasn't using it. It was so full and real looking we were spoiled. Our kids want to know why Uncle Josh took "our" tree. Heehee...I had to rub this in to him. Last year we got a real one from a little corner lot set-up and it was cheap, but seriously, totally dead. Sooo....this year we went to a Tree Farm and cut our own down. I should say John did. I mostly stood around with the kids freezing, telling him to hurry up before the placed closed and we all froze to death. I learned that it took 12 YEARS to grow my tree. Hokey petes....I didn't realize it took that long. I guess other types take a little less time, like 6-7 years. But I will stop balking at forking out $40 for a good tree now. It smells wonderful too! And my dear hubby had a stoke of genious for getting the tree in the house...made possible by our new windows that actually open. Our picture window now can actually slide open. I was tickled to get the tree in without a trail of needles all the way though the house. So here are some pics of the tree picking and home bringing process.

Again you can see I did a lot of hard work to help with the tree....

John bought these obnoxiously huge LED lights (he didn't realize how big they were) for the tree. They look a little oversized, but they give a cool light show so its not all bad. We did more decorating today and I will have to take pics of the final product soon after we add tinsel and the angel.

Oh and a bonus pic of the "Sculptures" KJ drew/made for me a couple of weeks ago while I was at work and DH was in charge:

And finally I leave you with the only pic I've taken in the last three months where both kid are actually looking at the camera (and getting along).

Can I just say.....

2008-12-01T09:56:00.003-05:00

That I totally cannot believe it is officially December already. Where the heck do the days go?!

5, 6, 7 o'clock, 8 o'clock Rock....

2008-11-30T03:05:00.002-05:00

I'm wait'n to rock around the clock tonight. At work that is. Tis' been a pretty good night actually. Last night was Sloooow as molasses. But tonight I walked into a coding patient who sadly did not make it, but it was a rock'n sweet code with lots of fun stuff and since it was the change of shift there were lots of nurses and lots of new orientee's too...and just about all of them got to do compressions. There was lots of learning and cool stuff for them to see. Lines, transcutaneous then a transvenous pacer, Artic Sun, blah, blah blah. I'm sure you non medical types are completely lost here. Sorry. And truly, I don't mean to sound callous to the fact that someone died, it was quite sad actually, but it was such a good learning/teaching opportunity and honestly its hard to say if this person was even remotely revivable anyway....

Alrighty...just called off to trouble shoot a patient with low O2 levels... have started a handful of IV's and overall its been a nice steady paced night. Hope it stays that way! I'll try to come up with something else interesting to blog about when I get more time. Ciao for now....

Don't have much to post about....

2008-11-24T00:53:00.003-05:00

So I thought it was time for another funny video clip from one of my favorite sites (fail-blog.com). I don't know why but I couldn't stop laughing at this so I thought I would share. Maybe its because I spent too many hours as a youngin' practicing my dance moves around the house and while I never had an experience *this* bad, I've lost my balance and looked a bit silly myself at times.

Holiday time!

2008-11-18T23:02:00.004-05:00

All the holidays, so much fun (and perhaps confusion).

So tonight we went yet again, to our favorite little (actually NOT so little) place in town. The Gardens/Sculpture park I keep talking about. I feel like I need to just live there. My kids ask to go ALL the time and its just the best place. I've decided I really need to volunteer there so I feel like I can give back a little bit of everything the place does for our family. Maybe when KJ is finally in school or when DH gets a daytime shift and less crazy schedule. Or maybe in the summers when the kids are old enough to help out with projects there too. We'll see.

ANYway....Tonight was a special night of tree lighting...they have 40 trees/displays representing 40 different countries and cultures. They also had roaming Dickens Carolers, crafts for the kids to make and Santa Clause! I didn't even initially realize until a few days ago that Santa would be there. Last year we went closer to Christmas to see Santa....I believe the last day Santa would be there and it was wall-to-wall people and a LONG line to see Santa. Tonight was much more laid back, Santa was roaming around chatting with the kids- on a few different occasions. After the last time KJ was done chatting off the ear of his new found friend, he stated "You know, I really like his Halloween costume". It was SO freaking funny. My MIL took a little video of him and E talking to Santa, so I will have to get it from her and post it. Unfortunately we missed that last costume comment on video though.

I guess having just had Halloween not that long ago, planning for Thanksgiving and then adding Christmas celebrations into the mix is a little confusing for a 2.5yr old. LOL!!

We also met an adorable little girl and her mom there and I actually exchanged email/#'s with the mom before we left. The girl was a little older than KJ but both my kids loved her. KJ spent a good part of the night following her around and vice versa. Before we left KJ asked if he could give her a hug and then after he hugged her asked if he could give her a KISS! Heehee!! Uh-oh! At least he asked I guess, although we refrained on this first date/meet-up! ;)

A night in the life of an ICU nurse...

2008-11-12T13:01:00.015-05:00

Well...a little bit of one anyway. I obviously can't take pics of my patients. But lately I've had my camera in the van for various reasons and when I get to work and I opt to bring it in rather than risk leaving it out in the cold, in the parking lot. Soooo I've had fun torturing my coworkers snapping pics mostly unsuspectingly a few times this month, but I've decided NOT to post those pics cause well...they might not like me for that, LOL. So, this post just got a whole more boring...sorry!

Here's about what time I start to get slap happy and loopy every night/morning! Just ask my friends.

Propofol...the nectar of the sleep gods, milk of amnesia, our favorite sedative. Just a wee little scene from my patients room.

Pretty good vitals for an ICU pt.

Another update....

2008-10-30T23:59:00.004-05:00

I've been delinquent in the updates on my step brother Mike, sorry. I forget who I've talked to and where I've said what, but I don't mean to leave out my on-line friends and RL friends who might check here.

Anyway!!! Your prayers and thoughts are working!!! Mike has been out of ICU for a few days now and on a regular oncology floor. He still has one chest tube in and had a weird but interesting issue with his body leaching "chyle" or basically all the fat absorbed from his intestines out of the chest tube. He is therefore on a strict non-fat diet and less than thrilled with his hospital food I would imagine...still making good steps in the right direction. Another small set back if you will is that he developed swelling and phlebitis like symptoms in the arm he received the chemo in. The Vascualar doc said today that it IS a blood clot, but supposedly superficial enough not to be a threat to the blood stream. Surgery would have been necessary otherwise. I'm praying for any swelling and pain to go away quickly. Poor guy doesn't need anything else to make him miserable. Although it sounds like he had a nice visit with some friends tonight/yesterday and I'm sure that was good medicine for the soul as well.

I still have not been down to visit. I'm not sure when that will happen now. We briefly talked about Thanksgiving as a possibility for me and all my sisters and family but no official plans yet. Right now his white counts are doing alright but will likely take dips after every chemo. As the mom to two kids with frequent runny noses (that are usually nothing, but sometimes something), it does make me a tad cautious to visit. So thats the news for now. Mike and my parents have expressed great gratitude over the many thoughts and prayers and I am so thankful as well! I'll try to keep up with posting the news as it comes. For now we're hoping for mundane but steady progress...no more big scary things like having organs shut down in ICU or anything like that!!

Kid-speak

2008-10-21T22:19:00.004-05:00

Just wanting to jot down (and share) a few other things the kids say...KJ in particular that crack us up some to which we like to assign our own definitions to go with the mispronunciations.

"Punk-quins" - Adolescent penguins that show rebellious tendencies against the colony. (Pumpkins)

"Fing"- Kind of like the word "smurf" to the Smurfs -"let me smurf you up some smurf berries...mmm....very smurfy". (Used for swing, sing, thing,...he just seems to say this A LOT).

Tonight while talking about what we were doing at bedtime he declared emphatically "Just make up my mind!" *giggle*

Tonight I was showing E a picture I took using a slow shutter speed while she was running and she looked not only blurred but ghost-ish and she declared "Hey I look almost indivisible". Heehee...hey, I'm just glad she is actually learning the Pledge of Allegiance at school.

Oh I know there were more I was gonna put down here, but they are slipping my mind- the exact reason I want to record them!

A Quote from the little kidlet....

2008-10-20T14:45:00.003-05:00

To serve as a reminder to watch what I say....

DH: Kaedon, PICK up your toys. Its time to pick up the living room.
Kaedon: I can't. (pause) Its just too freakin' weird.

I'm pretty sure I must have used that phrase (too freakin weird) earlier in the day on the phone. Hey its a lot better than actually throwing the "f" word out, but sounds a bit odd coming from the little mouth of a 2.5 year old. Although quite funny. He just needed an excuse that sounded important enough NOT to have to clean I guess.

Mike's Care Page...

2008-10-17T13:35:00.004-05:00

Just in case anyone is checking in here and didn't get the email, or just plain wants to follow the updates on my Mike, my Dad just started a CarePage for him under "mikeinakron". He is still in need of lots of prayers. As of now he is on a ventilator (as of yesterday), has managed to get by without needing dialysis and hopefully won't, and just needs lots of rest and healing. Keep praying!

The latest with Mike....

2008-10-14T21:37:00.002-05:00

I'm pretty much just re-pasting the email I've just sent out, so some of you may see this multiple times, sorry. (Just send another prayer each time you see it ;))

Hi all,

I may have mentioned to a few of you or you may have seen on my blog already that my stepbrother Mike was in ICU awaiting an official diagnosis of what they were pretty sure was Lymphoma. He is in Ohio so my Dad & step-mom have been down there for the past several days and will stay for a few more at least. Mike just turned 22 last week.

They received confirmation today that it is indeed non-Hodgkin's Lymphoma. They determined it was an Anaplastic Large Cell Lymphoma, considered to be quite aggressive and he will start a combination chemotherapy right away tomorrow (Wednesday). He still has drains in place to both his pericardium (sac around the heart) and chest to drain the accumulating fluids that are occurring secondary to the lymphoma.

They said this first round of chemo could be pretty "dicey" as it has the possibility of shutting down and severely affecting all his organs. He will stay in ICU so they can watch him closely.

Obviously any good vibes, thoughts and prayers for Mike, especially the next few days would be really appreciated. We are a bit shaken to have cancer touch our family so close again. It comes a huge shock to all of us and this is a very scary time. Please, please, pray for Mike.

Thanks so much,

Nicole

Need good thoughts and prayers...

2008-10-11T01:17:00.005-05:00

My step-brother Mike celebrated his 22nd birthday on Thurday while he was in the hospital admitted with Pneumonia. On Friday he was diagnosed with Lymphoma and needed to have drains placed to both his lung and one to the sac around his heart. Evidently he had some chest pains and an u/s showed fluid around his heart. It was actually the cells in that fluid that were telling of his diagnosis. In the next day or two we should find out what type of lymphoma and he will most likely begin treatment (chemo) right away. Of course everyone is in a bit of shock at the moment. I seriously had my bags packed and was/am ready to head down there (he lives about 5 hrs away) if it looked like I could be of any use gathering and decifering medical jargon for my parents. For now I am waiting. Perhaps when we learn more. Maybe I'll start website just for him to keep friends and family updated. We'll see. It just sucks to be an ICU nurse and have a family member *in* ICU and not be there. The whole thing just sucks.....beyond words or emotion. Any good thoughts for Mike would be appreciated.

Catching up....

2008-10-08T13:44:00.001-05:00

There was a bunch of stuff I was going to post about. Mostly stuff about the kids and things we did the past week or so and all the pictures to go along with it. But alas, I never got around to it and now there are other pressing things. I will recap just for my own recollections though. I'll still try to add pics later.

On Monday we were on our way to run some errands late in the day and passed by an open house at the local firestation. The kids were ELATED to stop and get to spray a real firehose and climb around in the trucks. And then you can't forget the free cookies. I was so glad we happened to drive by!

Tuesday was my Dads birthday so we all had a wonderful dinner at my sisters house to celebrate.

Wednesday was a totally rainy day and poor Elise had a big field trip to a farm that day. Fortunately they managed to stay mostly dry and all was well.

"A fallen leaf is nothing more...

2008-09-30T08:35:00.010-05:00

...than a summers wave goodbye." And that folks, is almost exactly how I feel about it! I truly do enjoy and love the autumn colors and all the festivities that come with harvest time and Halloween, and its my favorite time of the year to snap pictures. The warm orange and red glow of early evening sun and the colorful leaves. BUT....my body hates cold weather, I'm pretty sure I've inherited the family peripheral vascular disease. Once the temp drops below an average of 70 or so, I'm cold....really cold, in need of heavy socks 24/7 and several layers of clothing until summer returns again. My cold hands once shocked a patient out of an arrhythmia when I touched her chest....no joke. They get THAT cold. So here we go again, fall is here, all to soon to be followed by winter.

This past weekend was BEAUTIFUL....and we were on vacation....staying in cottages on a lake and it couldn't have been better (except if we could have stayed longer). The kids (hubby included) asked if we could live there. We were in Maple City, not too far from Traverse City kind of in the "pinky" of Michigan. (For all those non-Michiganders reading...hold out your left hand, palm facing away...and there you have a map of MI, nifty huh??) I know I've posted about this place before too. It was actually warm enough for the kids to go swimming. That is almost unheard of up there this time of year. We try to make it a yearly trip. I've been going to the same place for the last 30+ years, as my parents are friends with the owners and took us as kids. Its so wild to see my own kids in the same beds, trees, boats, etc... that I grew up enjoying.

I will finally make my first actual photo posts to my NEW Photo-BLOG I've been slacking. I'm not sure I will be able to keep up with both, but I wanted a place that was a little more dedicated to photography. So I'm thinking I'll post snapshots here and my slightly more serious photography there.

This is KJ *after* I'd just taken him out of his suit and got him dressed. He decided to fall off the dock. Good thing its shallow. I love the facial expression I caught. I'm sure he was thinking "Why aren't you drying me off mom?"

This one is trippy but kinda cool. I like how it turned out.

Kaedon taking what is probably his last Sink-bath!

Good day, sunshine....

2008-09-17T22:13:00.003-05:00

Ah...finally two days in a row with sunshine!! It was beautiful today and perfect in the mid 70's.

Life is chugging along here for us, although I've been in a bit of a rut it seems. I think I've just been over tired and perhaps a bit stressed about various things. We are still adjusting to E's school schedule and the fact that I have no real free days or time to run errands or get anything done. Its driving me nuts. If I do head out while she is in school, it means KJ is sacrificing nap time because DH leaves for work during this time as well. This 'two parents working opposite days of the week, on opposite schedules' thing is kind of taking its toll. Majorly. But...its what it is and there's nothing that can be done about it right now. I just need to buckle down and get more organized and manage time a lot better, but those are not strong points for me. I keep drifting back here to the computer like it will magically give me the formula to wave my magic wand and have clean folded laundry, clean floors, and homemade dinner appear before my eyes. But its not working. Evidently I need to get off my ass to make those things happen...can you believe it...dang.

I also think I need to start taking my daily vitamins again, I've been slacking off and I think thats part of my problem. Do you all take vitamins regularly? I wish I could say that I got everything in my wonderful diet, but em...yeah, no...I don't.

On another topic, I'm sure by now you all have seen the hilarious, to go down in the history books, SNL skit depicting Hillary Clinton and Sarah Palin. That was great! Loved it.

I also recently came across this funny clip that gave me the giggles:

Just another day...

2008-09-11T19:56:00.004-05:00

Last night I was driving home from a family gathering with my sisters and step-dad. We were having our (almost) weekly dinner gathering. We were also celebrating my step-dads birthday which is today (9/11). I drove home on a full, warm happy belly topped with cherry pie and whipped cream and two nodding children in the back of the van. It was peaceful, blissful even perhaps. I felt quite blessed. I started thinking about the date and how 7 years ago on Sept. 10th, our whole nation was in a sense "blissful". My heart was aching thinking about it and I was caught off guard with my own emotions.

The day is almost over now and I'm happy to report a good day. I was still brought to tears by reading the memories of that 9/11 day from a group of ladies that I chat with daily online. They are scattered all over the US and few beyond our borders. It was special to read everyone's accounts of that day, especially those so personally effected and close to NYC, but its incredibly humbling. Seven years *sounds* so long ago especially when we look at our children who were not even born then, but I'm so glad that we still remember and can share that day. Especially in light of all the political divisiveness (heck even in my own home) that we are bombarded with, I only wish there was something equally positive that could bring our nation and world together the way it came together then.

Tough words...

2008-08-31T01:48:00.007-05:00

So tonight I've had the experience of telling a young patient recently more awake and out of a sedated state that they were completely paralyzed and would likely stay that way permanently. If my heart could jump out of my chest and wrap its self around my patient at a moment like that it would. I can't even descibe the feeling. I was trying to totally absorb my patients emotions and give words that spoke reassurance, yet an ounce of truth, sprinkled with hope, and topped with a gentle carress and smile to show I truly do care. My heart was bleeding though.

I luckily seem to have a talent at lip reading which comes in handy for my often vented/trached patients. I am glad that I can figure out their needs and provide a bit of relief to their frustrations with commuicating. Although, it often still takes me several times of asking them to repeat things, if I can get it in the end, its a huge satisfaction to both of us. Its also nice to let the family see and be reassured that you can effectively care for their loved one so they can actually go home or at least to a warm bed somewhere to get some sleep.

In other work news, it has FINALLY been confirmed that I will be keeping my current weekend option schedule. In Feb. we are moving to a brand new building and about 4 units will be combined into two. We will supposedly become a "universal" unit of both ICU and intermediate pt's, therefore reducing the need to 'transfer' to another floor when changing status between those two placement categories. The nurses are placing bets on how long that arrangement will last. It shall be interesting. As always they (you know the almighty administrative *they*) hold the right to change or terminate my weekend contract, but with all the mayhem of the new building and unit and many new staff members, we think it will be a long time before they get around to looking at our weekend positions. Besides its all the experienced, senior staff that have them, and they can't afford to loose us. Unfortunately there's a small argument that they can't afford to keep us (since we get paid so much more) either. But hey, its nice to be needed for now at least...I guess. It will be scary and a bit exciting all at the same time.

Well, I'm still at work and its time to write down vitals again and start drawing labs, doing trach/vent care, giving meds and all that "fun" stuff again, so till later..... ;)

Just rambling....

2008-08-29T08:11:00.006-05:00

Yikes, I haven't posted anything in over a week. The end of last week I was busy getting ready to go camping. Last Friday afternoon I sent the kids up north with my Dad and stepmom. My sisters and nephews were also going up, so it was extra neat to have the family all together (well except me till later in the weekend). It was about 3 hours away so it was a bit of a weird feeling to be so far away from them while I was working that night. Both kids slept fairly well in the tent, but during the day KJ would periodically cry for me (my lil' mamma's boy!). This past week I've just been trying to catch up on laundry and rest and getting Elise ready for school next week. Oh yeah and I got hooked on Facebook. I've spent WAY too many hours on there this week too.

I'm feeling conflicted cause now I have my blog, twitter, facebook, two email accounts and my many boards/forums to keep up with. How do you keep up with everything?

Yesterday I found out my SIL (DH's sister) is pregnant!! I'm very excited and hoping and praying for a happy and healthy 9 months for her! Next Friday DH's brother gets married, so there is just all kinds of excitement going on in the family.

Party animals, not party poopers....

2008-08-20T22:39:00.010-05:00

The past two nights we have been to concerts. Tuesday was at the local gardens that host Tues. night concerts in August. It was free since we have a membership and the kids love it there anyway. We were there pretty late mostly walking around, playing in the children's area, listening to the soulful, relaxing music carried through the warm evening air. Staying out late inevitably led into a discussion about how we are not "party poopers" a phrase of course which my kids found HILARIOUS and giggled at immensely.

Well tonight we went to a pretty big Christian concert hosted by WAY-FM featuring Britt Nicole, Downhere, and Francesca Battistelli. It was held at the big ballpark. This was also free as long as you had a bumper sticker from the radio station. Since I did not have one, at 4:15 I set out to find one, which luckily did not take long. We got to the park really early and were in the first crowd to get through the gate and therefore had AWESOME seats. My kids did remarkably well. Elise loves Britt Nicole so I knew she would likely cooperate, but even my busy little, nap-deprived two year old lasted till almost the very end. You know the most awesome thing (other than the artists and their music) is that (nearly) everyone at an event like that is just SO nice and helpful. A young lady (Johanna, who coincidentally goes to my old church and I remember being just little girl) was sitting next to us, and was SO good and generous in helping and putting up with KJ climbing all over. To top it off I had an extra blessing- a good friend from high school wound up sitting right next to us so she also helped corral KJ and keep him entertained. It was just so crazy that out of the whole place she had a seat saved for her right next to me. Here's a few pics:

*@:Francesca:@*

*~*~Downhere~*~*

And !*!*!BRITT NICOLE!*!*!

I loved all of them, but I have to say that Francesca just has an AWESOME unique voice and I love her style. She plays her own guitar, seems down to earth and just has something extra sweet and cool about her. I haven't been to *real* concert in a long time so it made it extra fun!

Oh, and I can't leave a post without a sweet one of the kids having fun....

I feel lighter....

2008-08-18T17:20:00.012-05:00

Cause I just had a bunch of hair cut off!! I've been waiting forever to do it. My original intention was to wait till I had enough to donate to Locks of Love, but I thought it was 9 inches and then found out it was 10 and I am too chicken for a short hair cut. This past week I was going NUTS. Kaedon started using my long skinny ponytail as a handle/swinging vine and I almost took scissors out myself (seriously). It was getting SO tangled all the time I was loosing tons of hair and it really thinned out (not a good thing for already fine thin hair). So, I wouldn't have had much to donate anyway. At least thats what I'm telling myself so I feel less guilty for not donating it. I only get my hair cut a few times a year if that, so its a big even for me, LOL.

I didn't get a chance to take good before pictures so I have some from May that kind of shows almost how long it was (it had grown a couple more inches since then).

And now...sorry they aren't so great, Elise was taking them...

You can kind of see the layered back the second one.

And there's some of Miss Elise playing model for me too.

Don't mind her modeling her nose and dirty feet. I was also having fun playing with my new camera!!

Ah-Choo...

2008-08-10T21:13:00.003-05:00

Excuse me! *Pbbbbtzzz*, *sniff*, wipe, wipe. Oh pardon the snot.

It seems we picked up a little more than just sun at the amusement park. I came home from work this morning with the beginnings of a brewing cold/sinus thing going on and was greeted by two sick kidlets as well. Niice. E has had a fever off and on, but it goes right down with Tylenol or Motrin. She did nothing but lay on the couch or in bed all day and was obviously miserable. KJ was determined to be/act as sick as sissy was for attention reasons, but by tonight he is quite congested and very well may succeed in his endeavors by morning. He wouldn't cooperate for me to take him temp, but he doesn't feel too warm to the good ol' hand and cheek "mom-ometer". I am hoping for miraculous good health by morning. I think I'm gonna go look for some tea to soothe my throat since I'm thinking about it. Ciao.

Ouch!

2008-08-09T08:50:00.002-05:00

I got burned. Sunburned that is. Thursday the I took the kids to an amusement park about an hour from home that also has a water park. There was way too much to do in just one day. I think next time we will have to plan a two day trip to really see and do everything. Although, my kids are a bit young too, so waiting till they are a bit older and a few inches taller for more rides would be a good idea. SO anyhow.... back of my neck and shoulders are quite pink and sore and it kinda hurts to move. I guess I didn't get that spot good enough with sunscreen...or too late anyway.

Today is DH's B-day so we had some cake and gift giving. Unfortunately I have to work tonight though. At least it will help pay the bills and cover the cost of that new camera I ordered though!!!

Yep....I finally am getting a DSLR. Barring any last minute freakouts like last time when I returned the one I bought and went for my current (so-so P&S) camera, I should be like a kid at Christmas in a few days. I'll keep ya posted on that one!

Doing a little construction...

2008-08-04T00:08:00.003-05:00

I wanted to find a template that had a separate "page" so to speak for a photo-log, but I'm thinking I might just stick with this simpler format and link to a different site that will host my photo's. Flickr has a "thing" (for lack of a better description in my extreme sleep deprived mind) called 365 where you basically post a picture of the day for 365 days. I can't say that I'd be 100% compliant with this, but I would really like to try. So I'm working on getting that set up. I have some really fun friends on one of my forums (clovercuties- KJ's birth board which has evolved into a exciting lil' community) that are starting up with this too, so I have some inspiration! So I still have to work on all that but for now...this construction crew has to get to bed. I worked Saturday night and then only slept 4 hours, and then spent the rest of the day and night up north at the beach for a family function. I'm soooo fried (fry'd?)! Au Revoir!

Where did the week go?

2008-08-01T08:47:00.008-05:00

And for that matter the month!? I can't believe its AUGUST. This week flew by fast for me. I cannot believe its Friday already. Ugh. That means I work tonight!! Its also a "sitter weekend" so I have to drop the kids off. Even though they do fine there, Kaedon still often cries and rips my heart in two as I leave. He clings to me like a little monkey and the sitter has to actually PRY him off me most times. They much prefer when Papa and Grandma come here to watch them and spoil them rotten and let them stay up late.

I did find that disgusting, squished dead mouse by the way....ewwww!

This past Wednesday was E's last soccer game for the summer. She seemed to like it enough to try it again, but is still a bit tentative out on the field and not so assertive yet. She also has asked to do dance again and by personality she is more the "artsy" type, so we'll just see where the sports thing takes us. This was really her first official sport she tried. She was elated to get a certificate and a medal at the end, so that was all good and cute!

Kaedon seems to be naturally coordinated at sports stuff already, but not so much in everyday walking. The kid runs into the corners of the wall and bumps his head several times a day....seriously!! He's a super fast runner and can already hit a ball with a bat when pitched to him and seems to be pretty good at soccer too...although he needs to learn NOT throw himself on the ground and throw a fit when someone gets the ball away from him, LOL.

Kaedon has been obsessed with fire, fireman and fire hydrants lately. I've explained that only the firemen can turn on the water at the hydrants. We happened to pick up a cheapy $0.49 firemans hat at a dollar store last week and he is thoroughly convinced that it gives him the power to turn the hydrants on. He seriously throws a fit in the van when I won't pull over and let him turn the hydrant on. Oh my!!

Here he is in action with the power washer. After having a campfire with dadda last weekend, he also seems to want to START fires all the time too, so um...I'm a bit concerned there and keep reminding him that firemen put OUT fires. Yikes.

And for laughs I thought I'd post a funny German commercial from Youtube I found last night:

There's a mouse in my house....

2008-07-26T08:09:00.002-05:00

And I don't know where it is!! Actually John was pretty sure the cat killed it last night, well...played it to death actually. But now its missing. Niiice. Our older cat isn't too smart with catching mice. Actually the mice seem to talk smack back at him. Here's an old pic of Simon getting chewed out by a mouse for playing too rough. The little thing was seriously sqeaking away yelling at him. I just love this picture, LOL!!
Aaand....here's the cat, running away from the mouse....

A few vacation pics and more....

2008-07-17T22:54:00.005-05:00

Here's one of the VERY few pics that actually shows ME and the kids. I asked John to take one since there really is almost no photographic records that I am actually a mother to my children. This is the best he could get and pretty classic of trying to get the kids to cooperate.

And here is a good one of "Zoom-zoom" Zumaya: (I love my camera zoom! We were WAY up in the stadium seats)

Here's one that was really overexposed, but I played with it in B&W and kinda like the efffect:

And a kinda cute one of KJ:

And on a total side note, I hate this blog template...mainly because everyone and their brother is using it too...so I'm in search of something different and fun.

Back from a little vacation....

2008-07-14T22:35:00.004-05:00

So we made it a long weekend (DH got Monday off) and we left Saturday morning for Detroit to see a Tigers game!! It takes a couple of hours+ to get there so I had booked a hotel to make it an official vacation and have some fun with the kidlets too. I originally was going to just stay at the hotel with KJ during the game and E would have some daddy/daughter time, but we decided to brave it and all go, busy toddler included. It was a bit chaotic especially since it rained for the first few innings and there was NOT any cover over us except the lil' umbrella we did bring along just in case. The event involved a LOT of walking especially for me, since I was of course the designated child-chaser and entertainment provider. Next time remind me to get seats in the section at least NEAR the big carousel not several decks (like 10 flights of stairs) above it and a mile away on the opposite side of the stadium. Oh...yeah, and I should mention I had Kaedon on my back in a carrier the whole time because there was no way to traverse the stadium seating with a stroller and no way I would trust him walking. Did I post that I totally lost him at the local gardens a few weeks ago. One kid goes one way, the second goes the other way....one mom...two kids... = BAD scenario!! OIY!

So yeah...several miles of walking with an extra 30+ lbs on my back, in 80 degree 100% humidity. Overall, yes the vacation went well, but it was at this point I think I mentally lost it for the rest of the weekend. I was feeling very bitter about DH sitting in his seat watching the game. He who was whining about how his knee hurt from all the walking and how bad the little soft cooler strap was digging into his shoulder. I started inwardly brewing about how I had done all the laundry and packing before hand, made all the arrangements etc, etc... OH, yes, and I had just started my lovely "curse" of the month too, so that kinda sucked and added to the slightly homicidal mental state. Much like the little clip my friend Teachermom posted here. Heehee...

So Sunday was also our anniversary (9 years)!! I feel so bad that I was so rottenly grumpy and lousy feeling. We had originally planned to take the kids to the zoo or a museum or someplace neat in that area, but seriously, they were IN LOVE with the hotel pool and it worked out well to just hang out there for the day (which also allowed me to nap, woohoo!!). Later in the afternoon DH's sister and BIL came to hang out and watch the kids while we went shopping and then out for dinner at an awesome place called Joe's Crab Shack. DH had been dying to go there for ages and we were actually within a reasonable driving distance from one. I finally relaxed a bit!! THAT was nice!! We also got confirmation that DH had his full shift off on Monday so we knew we would have some extra play-time with the kids then. Not that we are anywhere near as much fun as the aunt and uncle who played 1:1, non-stop with them for 5+ hours, but you know...a least moderately fun. ;)

So despite the fact that I had severe gut rot Monday morning, (I think a combo of the seafood, fatigue, and previous fast food ventures) we got going pretty early for our standards and checked out of the hotel by 10:30ish. We took the kids to the hands-on children's museum in Ann Arbor. I would highly recommend it to anyone in the area. It was really neat with tons of interactive stuff for the kids (and parents) to do. We made it home in time to take Elise to soccer practice and it was a treat that DH got to go since he would normally be working.

So, thats my life the past few days in a nutshell....probably not all that interesting, but hey!!

Some pics....

2008-07-10T00:23:00.004-05:00

Biking:

Eating our favorite summer treat:

Flowers just for fun...and playing with photoshop a bit:

2008-07-09T21:20:00.004-05:00

So today we arrived at E's soccer practice a bit and played on a nearby playground. The field is HUGE where about 8 teams of little 4-6yr olds are divided into mini tot-sized fields. On either side of the big field are schools, each with their own playground of course. So somehow in the before-practice playtime E brought up whether or not mom and dad's butts would fit on the swings. Niiice. I told her that really wasn't an appropriate thing to talk about. Well, fast forward about 30 minutes while KJ and I are sitting along the little practice field with the other parents. He is begging me to take him to the other playground (on the other side) and I'm trying to hold him off and promise to take them when sissy is done. In a valiant effort to convince me he states "Yo butt will fit der mama". Thaaaanks buddy. I'll run right over there now, hehehe. Yeah, he totally mimics and repeats everything these days. Sometimes it super cute, other times you want to pretend your just the babysitter!

Stay tuned for some pics.....

Speaking of crazy mayhem, did you notice my new blog title?

2008-07-03T15:58:00.004-05:00

Its a bit of a longish story, but evidently one of the words in my old blog title was similar to a trademarked word. A trademark that is held by another blogger in fact. I won't even go into how I feel about it because most of you already know from me venting in a few other places. So in the interest of harmony and blogging blissfulness I've had to wrack my brain for a new blog title. I'm not terribly smitten by my current title, but it will do for now. However, I couldn't help but notice that seriously less than 12 hours after changing it to Mother of Mayhem, we had huge storms, knocked out power, knocked out phone lines, huge tree uprooted, and potentially rotting, fermenting food in our fridge and huge chest freezer. Not to mention the small things like my kids playing in a huge mud puddle right after I'd tidied them up to head here to MIL's. I was on the cell phone and scurrying to get things packed up in the van and wasn't noticing what they were doing. Yeah....COVERED in mud and splatters, head to toe. Gotta love it....

So anyway if you notice that my blog title changes again....perhaps to something like "Mom of Millions (of dollars)" for a while (and I'll play the lottery during that time span) to see if that comes true as well, don't be surprised!

I've got no power!!!

2008-07-03T15:28:00.003-05:00

To my house that is!! Since Wed. afternoon when big ol' 60 mph winds and hail producing storms rolled through, we've been living like Laura and Mary Ingalls. Well, ok....not quite, since we still have indoor plumbing and running water. But thats along the lines of what I was telling Elise who was all whiny whiny that she was bored only an hour into the situation . Suddenly NONE of her toys were of interest. Oh Heavens, the TORTURE!!! No TV or Webkinz for a day (or two or three). We had to talk about what Laura and Mary Ingalls and the Amish would do all day, ha!!

I'm somewhat proud, yet embarrassed to admit that the situation actually proved to be very conducive to productivity for me. I had absolutely NO excuse to put off hand washing the big dirty pots that had been on stove for a day or more and I folded two HUGE loads of laundry after the kids went to bed that I'd been procrastinating for a long time. Then I continued on by candle light to clean out the kids playroom a bit. I'm still not done there, but it literally looked like a tornado had gone through that room before I started. It helped that I was sipping a frozen Strawberry Daiquiri mix that I "rescued" from the freezer. Of all things I couldn't let that go to waste!!

So today we realized that the phone lines are also screwed up, so we have no home phone at all. AND a HUMONGOUS tree that borders the neighbors completely uprooted and fell into their backyard. Thank goodness it didn't hit any structures. Its literally right on the property boarder, so I don't know who's responsibility its going to be to take care of it. They have not appeared to be home or at least outside to see it, so "shrug" I'm not sure what the deal will be with that. We may offer to have DH and whoever we can round up to cut it all apart for them. Or at least some of it.... The trunks (it branched out two ways, so almost like two whole trees) would make great fire wood, so thats at least a plus (for somebody). Crazy, crazy I tell you. It never seems to be dull or without some drama at our house.

Hysterically wrong....

2008-06-29T23:40:00.004-05:00

But I can't help myself... I found this at a blog I recently came across and wanted to share... if nothing else, to see if your laughing with me, however wrong and evil it seems.

I need to figure things out....

2008-06-27T01:07:00.004-05:00

Well, lets be serious there are TONS of things I need to figure out in life...but really right now, I'm mostly concerned with my work schedule and DH's work schedule and life in general. I could go into lots of detail telling you about how we had to re-apply for our current positions just because we will be moving into a new building in Febuary-ish 2009, but I'll do my best to be brief. Based on those interviews we will all find out our assigned location/dept. and shift within that new building. I know I'll stay in ICU, but I won't know any other details for sure until the August some time.

In the mean time DH was just told they may switch his schedule to have him work weekends and get Tues & Wed. off (So work Thurs-Mon I guess). If this happens I will probably need to give up my weekend option spot (the one thats been giving me a headache anyway) for sure. Having Elise in VBS this week and spending more time with the people from church really makes me want to give up my weekend thing anyway so we can actually start going to church regularly again. Its been forever since we did. And now Elise is just at that age where she really needs and wants to be a part of things like that. It has been SO neat to watch her come home singing the songs and telling me about stories in the Bible that they read and just generally being really excited about Jesus and the Bible. Its wonderful. I don't want that to end for her. I truly question my job and wonder if I'm "supposed to" give up this weekend thing now anyway. Financially, I don't know HOW it would work. I would need to work 3 shifts a week to make what I do now. Or see if there was anyway to cut back enough to make it on much less. I just don't know. I need to some hard thinking, praying and crunching numbers. I'm SO not a decision maker though...I totally procrastinate that too and put off making big decisions. So when I say we will see...it might be a long wait. ;)

My crazy fun weekend....

2008-06-23T22:37:00.003-05:00

So I don't know how much I've complained here lately about my current position at work. Up till recently I was pretty happy with my "work part-time, but get paid full-time" weekend gig. They are now however, subtly trying to do away with us "weekend option" people and therefore our once guaranteed hours are no longer guaranteed at all. Oh no! So Friday I was called off, but managed to pick up an open slot in ER. I actually REALLY liked it. I've only been down there a few times and only for 4 hours at a time. But I think I could actually dig a new gig down there if the right spot opened up. Unfortunately they won't hire me into a weekend spot until I have MORE experience in ER. So we'll see....maybe I just need to get some!

Saturday, only 5 ICU patients meant, no work for me again. This was a "babysitter" weekend, so DH was home and the kids were at the sitters. He's been getting a free Saturday night to himself twice a month with this set up. Usually it works out to be a combo of guy time for him and get my "to-do list" done type thing. Sometimes I get mad at the fact I'm paying a sitter when he is home, but if it keeps us happy and keeps our marriage going in the right direction its worth it.

Soo.....we had a DATE NIGHT Saturday!!! Yeah, I really can't afford to be called off work too much, but we were desperately in need of some ALONE adult time. We went to dinner, watched a movie and flirted and generally just had a good time. It was SO nice. I felt so much more refreshed and alive after getting some *me* time....and sleeping in till almost NOON without any kids in bed with me!!! WOOHOO!!!

Our lazy morning came a crash ending when we heard a motorcycle whiz right by the bedroom window and then the snapping of branches along the tree line that borders the neighbors lawn. I thought I was dreaming for a second. I jumped up and squinted out the window (sans my glasses) and couldn't quite tell if that was a rear reflector I saw sticking out of the tree branches and bushes or not. After grabbing my glasses and noticing a swarm of various neighbors heading from all different directions into my yard, I realized the bike and person must still be IN there! I frantically threw on a sweatshirt and jeans over my lingerie and ran out there. How embarrassing to be an ICU nurse and not promptly respond to an emergency in my own yard, you know. It was a young guy, probably early 20's with a HUGE, heavy, shiny new motorcycle. I'm guessing a new purchase to combat gas prices. He was amazingly ok...at least seemed to be. He got up once a crowd had gathered and wouldn't admit to any injuries other than a bruised ego. He evidently only lives up the road so another guy helped him WALK the bike back. Yikes!! I haven't seen him or the bike since but I hope not too...at least not the bike. I kinda felt bad for the kid. I am just SOOOO thankful my kids were not even home, let alone in the yard. Can you imagine!

This week Elise is in VBS at a church right down the road. Today was her first day and I was really surprised at how huge and big it all was. TONS of kids. I was a little nervous to leave her, but then spotted three other kids who were just in her preschool class, so I felt a little better about it. She of course loved it! The biggest challenge will be getting there on time. It starts at 9am and I.am.not.a.morning.person!!!!

Catching up...

2008-06-17T22:47:00.005-05:00

Today was a day of getting a bunch of errands out of the way that I'd been procrastinating. The first was my annual Dr's appt. The one I was overdue for.... Well, I didn't see my actual doc, but a newer female in the office and she was AWESOME!! I'm thinking I might switch to her permanently. And I'm happy to report that my cervix looks normal...no visible polyps!! Whew...now I just have to wait for the report to come back, but thus far, I've never had abnormal results so I'm now feeling reassured that I'm not immediately dying or anything. :)

After the docs, we stopped at my MIL's as we were out that way and hadn't visited in a while. Then it was off to the DMV to renew my expired tabs. Yikes! I had totally forgotten about it and they were expired two weeks ago. It feels good to be legal now! Then we stopped at the Big Lots next door to the DMV and got a few good deals on some grocery items. They have a decent selection of organic/natural products for WAY cheaper than I can get them anyplace else. For instance I found Annie's mac n' cheese for $1/box. Then it was off to Kohl's to return 4 things that I didn't fit right that I'd ordered online in a spending frenzy last month. I grabbed two things for Elise that were on clearance on the way out but I'd like to go back without the kids again to get more for moi! You know...I did just return $54 to my Kohls charge card, so that means I have $$ to spend now right?!?

The best part...was that my kids were GREAT the whole day we were out!! And pretty cute to boot! KJ was a total flirt and ham everywhere we went. The downside was that as soon as we made it home, they both completely fell apart and were a fighting, screaming mess. But hey....it was kind of understandable and nothing bedtime didn't solve a short while later, ha!

DH should be home any minute now. It was his first shift of work as an "official" employee! Yep...he is officially hired in now. It really doesn't mean too many changes right now, but at least his job and hours are guarenteed and he is eligible for benefits in 30 days. I think a little wine might be in order!

The sun, moon and the clouds....

2008-06-12T07:29:00.003-05:00

The sun has been making the nice long days very hot, humid and sticky here in Michigan. Although the sun has been mixed with many clouds this past week as well. Yesterday was beautiful and sunny but prior to that we had several straight days with at least some rain. It would temporarily cool things off, but then just add to the humidity. I've managed to hold off using the central air. I love having the windows open and breeze flowing through and hearing the birds every morning. I just can't bring myself to close everything up, and let me tell you the cost factor is a pretty big motivation to stick it out as well!

The moon is another big fascination here, especially with KJ. The last two days in particular its been quite visible during the day. Knowing how enamored he is with the moon, Grammy told him during a phone conversation that it was out, and that she could see it at her house too. So, Tuesday he camped out on the edge of the neighbors lawn adjacent to our driveway so he could have a tree-less view of the lunar wonder. It was cute. What was even more cute was our conversation Wed. morning then, first thing, while still lying in bed. He was just going on and on about the moon.

KJ: "I saw the moon! Grammy has a moon too, at hews (her) house!!"
"It's BIIIIG!!!"
"I not reach it!"

Me: Nooo, its too high to reach it, you can't touch the moon honey.

KJ: "I need my tep-tool" (step-stool). I can tand (stand) on my chair to touch it"

He went on some more, but I can't remember everything he said. It just tickles my heart though, to watch my kids develop that "wonderment" about the little and big things in life that us grown-ups don't think twice about anymore.

Today I'm thinking of trying to take some nice outdoor pics of the kids and maybe my nephews too. Its supposed to be incredibly hot and humid again though, so I'm also trying to work in some plans to go somewhere with a pool...perhaps at Grammy's!!

Chocolate & Birthday Cake...for Me!!!

2008-05-26T23:17:00.008-05:00

I'm 23... Well, that IS what my cake said!! You know... after insisting that the numbers be switched around. Thank you BIL!! Conveniently my birthday falls close to Memorial Day so it often works out nice to have a little get together around that time. So Monday my immediate family had a lil' gathering and I got to open presents and have cake a day early. Sunday afternoon and into the evening we had a relaxing time at my IL's as well. They live on some beautiful land that serves as a perfect backdrop for my obsessive picture taking, so it is always a treat to visit there in nice weather. I also went for a walk through some country orchards and had some good old fashioned girl talk with some wonderful ladies about everything from our bodies, to clothes, to spiritual stuff, to our abilities (or lack thereof) to still do cartwheels. (I can, by the way, still do a pretty darn near perfect cartwheel...in my old age of 32). I had not been excited to go initially, but I left feeling surprisingly refreshed and happy.

Tuesday (my actual birthday) will be nothing special, in fact I really want to get my closets cleaned out and haul some stuff away to be donated. Getting a bit more organized would be a miraculous gift in and of itself. I constantly struggle in that area, (as anyone who's been to my house can attest to).

Tonight Kaedon gave me another miracle.....he went to bed on his own....IN his OWN bed!! Usually getting him to sleep involves either me sleeping on his mattress with him, him sleeping in my bed with me, or falling asleep in someones arms or on the couch next to us and being transferred into his own bed. It took a few times walking him back in there, but finally he stayed and fell asleep. YEEEHAW!!! Please tell me this is the start of something wonderful and new to stay and be repeated night after night!! Please, oh please, oh please!!!!

Whats new in my little world?!?!

2008-05-20T09:29:00.007-05:00

Well lets see, I haven't posted in a while.

For Mother's Day I actually got a BIG bouquet of roses from the kids & DH, and DH totally cleaned the kitchen and straightened things up in the rest of the house!! Woohoo! Oh, a little box of deluxe chocolates to boot.

For the past week we have been working on a garden outside. In the next day or two we have to finish getting the seeds and lil' plants in the ground. Its not a huge area, but I'm REALLY excited, and also a bit nervous that we don't kill everything. Its the first time we've had a garden. It's been really fun picking out seeds and planting them in cups with the kids and watching them sprout the past few days. So far we've started green beans, cucumbers, lima beans, pumpkins, watermelon, and a friend gave me 6 tomato plants. And we also hope to do carrots, radishes, peas and acorn squash. We did stawberries last year and those came up several weeks ago already and are looking great! It will just be small amounts of everything, but hopefully we will learn this year and perfect thing for the future. DH has been working really hard to get it all tilled and fenced in to protect it from the multitude of critters we have in our yard. I will have to take some pictures to post too.

Elise is almost done with school this year! On one hand I'm glad to have all my days open and free with the kids, but on the other hand I can't believe she is going to be done with preschool...forever!!! They have a special "bike" day, a big picnic and then finally a little graduation coming up in the next two weeks so I'll have to take pics of all those events too. I can't believe how fast she is growing up. She gets taller every week I swear. She really is our little fairy princess, with her long blond hair, and tall skinny figure. As I type she is coincidentally putting on her purple fairy wings, LOL!!

Kaedon is my sweet, sensitive little man. He continues to be a momma's boy, but don't get me wrong, he's ALL about tools, dirt, motorcycles, and dinasours too. His vocabulary is astounding (to me at least). He can count to about 13, and knows his ABC's. He loves to sing to himself and likes to listen to the Veggie Tales and the Beatles. Yes...the Beatles. Elise was the same way at that age, and she still loves them. Its sort of become a family right of passage.

DH has FINALLY been given an official hire in date at his work. So June 15th it is. He's already been there 7 months as a "temp". Nothing much will change really, at least not for the first few months. We just have to decide if its worth changing any of the benefit stuff, but most likely not.

So thats it...I think! Hope I didn't bore you silly!

Some quotes from the kidlets....

2008-05-07T21:10:00.003-05:00

Yesterday from Elise to me: "You're the BEST MOM in the whole....(pause)....Um....STATE"!!

Kaedon talking to (and poking) the ants outside: "Hey little buddies"

Kaedon this afternoon: "I hear the sun-set"
Me: (thinking hard about that one) "You mean the rain-drops"
K: YEAH!!! Raindrops!!

Heeheehee!! I love kids!!

What the heck is wrong with me?

2008-05-01T15:55:00.003-05:00

I have had absolutely NO energy at all and I'm just constantly wiped out and lethargic. At first I was thinking I could be pregnant, but that was clearly determined to be a NO. So then I thought it was just PMS, but now its just still lingering. I have allergies and those have been bad, but lordy, I don't know if I'm just in a depressed rut or what. And then I get mad and frustrated with myself because I'm grumpy and I know it. I hate being so short tempered with my kids and DH.

A few nights ago I had myself (and nearly convinced DH) that I probably have cervical cancer or something because I realized I completely skipped my yearly "female" exam last year and would have been due for it in March, so now I'm 2+ years overdue. I freaked out because when I was pregnant with KJ I had some sort of polyps on my cervix (uterus maybe) that would occasionally bleed. They never said anything at my post-partum visit, but I don't think I asked either. So you know....I googled cervical polyps and was somewhat convinced that I am dying. Gotta love google. So I promised DH I would make an appointment pronto and you know what....I STILL have not done it and that was a few days ago. Why do I put these things off and procrastinate? WHY??? I don't know either.

I've been addicted to pop/soda too....I think more so lately to try and combat the tirednes...but I think that is taking its toll on me as well. I just feel crappy overall. So I need to work on that! (I say as I sip on my Pepsi, LOL).

So anyway....I quit my depressing ramble and try to some up with something more cheery to share in a little bit.

Kid conversation....

2008-04-17T22:42:00.003-05:00

At breakfast yesterday:

KJ: (enthusiastically) "I yike Cancakes" (like pancakes)

E: "Me TOO"! (just as enthusiastic)

KJ: "No sissy, yo FIVE!!!

E and myself: (giggle, giggle)

E: No, I like them ALSO

Some good news today!!

2008-04-14T22:10:00.003-05:00

Since Oct. DH has been working through a hiring/temp agency with the essential promise that he would be hired in, barring any issues with attendence or performance. Today he was told that he was one of the topics of conversation at an administrative meeting and his direct manager gave him confirmation that he would be officially hired in but the exact "conversion" date is TBA. I'm sure we'll celebrate more when we have an actual date, but this is really good news. The only drawback is that his schedule might change and that could really conflict with my work schedule, but somehow we'll deal (and maybe it will motivate me to make some changes too if needed)! I'm most eager to see the benefits info (which his manager gave him today). We currently have them through my work, but pay $400/month. I'm crossing my fingers his will be comparable in quality but cheaper than mine!!

In other bittersweet news, I've known for a few weeks now that my step-dad sold my mom's house. Tonight was probably our last dinner there all together as a family. I was horribly upset when he put it on the market and I am still emotional about it, but somehow have come to have a sense of peace about it as well. I had really hoped to buy it from him since its in a perfect location and has a great yard and space for the kids, but as time has gone on and more and more of my moms things have been removed and changed....it just isn't the same. I know a huge thing for me was the emotional attachment and wanting to hold onto my mom as much and in anyway that I could. The biggest thing holding us back from that was the reality that our current home needs a ton of work before it could even feasibly be put on the market to even cut-even and there are several homes for sale around us and sales are S-L-O-W. The other thing is that we would be the only ones on that particular side of town and even a tad bit farther from DH's family and my sisters. I think if we move it would be closer to everyone else, not farther. So anyway....on the 30th....it will no longer be my mom's/step-dads house. And since he's moving in with his new wife, it will be strange and we know our relationship will change a bit too. I will really miss having that comfortable spot to gather as a family with my sisters. Dammit...it just really makes me miss my mom too. *sigh* I hate life changes, but I know in the end it makes us stronger right?!?!

Another semi boring day....

2008-04-09T22:51:00.002-05:00

It was cloudy again and E's fever was still slightly there at times, so we chilled out at home till I couldn't take it anymore. We wound up meeting my MIL at Meijers for some shopping with her 10% off birthday discount coupon. I spent way too much $$, but I'm happy with what I bought so far, so eh...its only money right?!?! ;)

This was actually from a couple of days ago, but a good example of rainy day fun at our house.....my lil' clown-chef.

Its been spring break time!!

2008-04-08T11:03:00.003-05:00

I was hoping to do a bunch of extra fun stuff this week, since Elise doesn't have school. But alas, she came down with a mysterious fever and was pretty lethargic all day. Add cold rainy weather to that and it you don't get much motivation to do anything.

At least we sqeezed a little extra fun and outside time in on Sunday. After I slept a few hours we all went to the park and flew big, neat kite. Well....ok, so DH was really the only *successful* one flying it, but I got in the air a few times.....for a few minutes, LOL!! The kids played on the playground there and it was a nice time. We then ran to the store and got a little rotisserie chicken and some sides and had a "picnic" on the front porch. The kids were SO excited by this for some reason. I guess its just been a long winter and its just SOOOO nice to be outside.

On a total side note....I'm actually really liking the editing features that Photobucket added. I noticed some of them are still labeled Beta, but I hope they keep them (like Curves...you can adjust CURVES in PB....whoda thunk it?). I've heard lots of complaints about PB lately and I'm not sure if its just because the editing page takes longer to load or what. But for snapshot like pics I just want to tweak and post to my blog, a forum, and then send a link to family to look at, its one stop shopping...er...editing for me!!

Sharing some more pics....

2008-04-03T09:27:00.005-05:00

I've already posted some of these on the forums I belong to, but for those of you that haven't seen them....here's a few pics from last weekends lil' hotel trip/water park getaway that we took:

Toddler Anatomy 102

2008-04-01T11:36:00.004-05:00

Pre-requisite: Please finish TA 101

So this past weekend while on a little mini vacation at a hotel with an indoor water park for the kidlets, we needed to kill some time between dinner and bedtime and decided not to go back to the pool for the 20th time that day (ok, slight exaggeration), so we opted to make a run for dessert. We just picked up some McD's sundaes and brought them back to the hotel room.

As I was getting ready to give the kids each their sundaes Elise asked if I would put the peanut sprinkles on hers. Ok, no problem. So I then ask KJ if he wanted peanuts on his ice cream too.

He gives me this crazy look and says "NOOOOO-OOH" (Ok fine I thought)
Then a few seconds later he says "Peanuts....my butt!"

I NEARLY spit out MY ice cream when I realized what I asked him in "his language". Poor guy must think I'm crazy! I was LMAO though!!

Toddler Anatomy 101

2008-03-26T12:48:00.004-05:00

So a few days ago KJ managed to drop heaping amounts of shreaded cheese from his lunch down his onsie. It of course snaked its way down into his diaper and collected in a yucky mess. During his diaper change I had to wipe and clean thoroughly around some "sensitive areas". He exclaimed "Don't Touch, mama" over and over. So I matter of factly told him "I have to clean the cheese off your penis!" (One of those things you never imagined you'd have to say).

"My Peanuts?" He repeated.
"No, your penis" I corrected him.

But it was already decided in his brain.....(they are) it is now his "peanut."

Whats been up in our household....

2008-03-19T23:10:00.007-05:00

Lets see....We've fairly recently been to the circus, done lots o' shopping, lots o' dancing, and today (well yesterday now) went to the local botanical gardens to see the butterfly exibit.

The circus was fun, but let me reccomend NOT taking a 2 year old who's entering the terrible two's over his (semi) normal naptime, thinking he'll be fine. He gets in this crazy, mischevious, naughty mood when he's trying to keep himself awake, so that consisted of wanting to be IN the circus rings and trying to run down the stands (we were up high) and screaming bloody murder when I'd try to catch him. He was mostly enthralled with the "petting" zoo they had there. But everyday since then, he's been asking to go to the circus again.

I scored some good deals at a Meijers thats moving to a new building. I bought some new running shoes (for work though) at 40% off. I got bike helmets for both the kids, and I splurged and bought a battery recharger that will charge the AA batteries for my camera in 15, yes FIFTEEN MINUTES!! Thats exciting to me I tell ya. Oh and I bought new toothbrushes for the kids that were marked way down, but they rang up wrong. I checked the recipt on my way to the van and noticed so I went back in and got the difference PLUS about $6 in some "wrong charge award". I love getting paid to shop!!

I really LOVE the Butterfly exhibit and so do the kids. KJ ran around like a mad man yelling I "catch it" and jumping up and down cause he could barely contain his excitement. Elise, now entering that academic stage was most interested in the chrysalides (cocoons).

So thats us in a nutshell the past week or so. I hope the pictures help make up for my lack of posting. :)

Here's a lil' video too:

http://smg.photobucket.com/albums/v213/Istra/Spring%202008/?action=view&current=03-19-08031.flv

Its hard to find computer time these days....

2008-03-11T23:38:00.001-05:00

With KJ literally pulling my hands away and wanting me to play with him if he even sees me heading towards the computer, and Miss E, wanting to always play and visit her OWN sites (webkinz, various preschool game sites), I hardly get a chance! But, I'm trying!!! Sorry!

I'm a better mom on Prozac and Wine....

2008-03-03T16:30:00.004-05:00

Do I really need to elaborate on that statement? I think it speaks for itself right!? I woke up all chipper feeling refreshed and ready to start a *NEW* week. You know...one that would be much better than last, on so many levels. I want(ed) to accomplish things today and this week. Then kids happened. You know....like they opened their whiney 2 year old and stubborn back talking 5 year old mouths, I changed multiple nasty poppy diapers, a poopy "accident" from Miss E and the day went downhill from there. I guess I was not as "chipper" as I originally thought myself to be in the morning. Sooo....finally I got through dinner just now....and let me tell you, I love wine...Oh, how I love wine!! (Can you tell I just ~~had~~ am having some now). Last weekend I was in a conversation with a patients family memeber and he had recently returned to the hospital after going out to dinner with family. He was saying how he had had a drink or two and it was really nice to relax (since he'd been at his extremely ill wife's bedside for many days) and he teased me that since I had gone to a Baptist college (he thoroughly interviewed me on day #1) that I probably didn't drink. I laughed heartily and was like....."Um....I have CHILDREN, do I need to say more". Seriously, I rarely DO drink and when I do its not often or much.

TOMORROW is KJ's Birthday!! He turns TWO!!! We had a small family gathering last night at my dad and step-mom's house. We decided that we should have had later spring or summer babies so their birthdays wouldn't ever coincide with snow and ice storms and bad weather. Last night was ok....it was actually thundering and lightning which was kinda cool. Tomorrow we are supposed to visit Grammy (my MIL) and meet up with my sister and nephews so I'm hoping the snow forcasted holds off till later in the evening.

A sad day

2008-02-26T23:12:00.003-05:00

Today a friend and co-worker died. The whole thing is so awful. Sue was a breast cancer survivor who had finished her chemo and treatments several months ago and was doing well except the past few weeks. She was generally not feeling well and having some pain issues I guess. She was admitted to our hospital (on her OWN unit) last night but very unexpectedly coded and died early this morning. Other friends and co-workers were the ones to work on her until all hope for resuscitation had past. She had fought and suffered SO much to get through her breast cancer and was finally getting back on her feet with life and then to go so unexpectedly! She has been a single mother for many years and has two sons who still live at home. She lives near me and I've been to her house a number of times. I've known her for 8 years. She was one of my preceptors and mentors when I first graduated and started on the intermediate unit. She was truly THEE pillar of knowledge and wisdom in her area. Our hospital will be a different place without her. I will miss you Susie!!

Not sure where else to document this...

2008-02-14T23:06:00.004-05:00

(I hesitated to actually post this, so its been sitting as a draft for several days, but ah, what the heck, maybe your bored and want to read a long ramble about my family)....
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
So for now I'll stick it here. Tonight I babysat my nephews and my grandma came along to help and enjoy her great-grand kids a little more. It was about 45 drive home and along the way she just started talking and reminiscing away. I think it started because she was saying how my sister and I were good moms and that our mom was good with us as well. She went on with stories of my mom when she was young- 16 years old and starting to date my rebellious and disrespectful to authority (at that time) dad. I learned some things and missing pieces to some stories that I hadn't known, mostly about my dad. I find it all intriguing and interesting and funny now. Especially because my dad is SOOO different now. My mom left home and dropped out of high school when she was 17 to move in with my dad. They were basically hippies. According to grandma they lived in communal housing near Aquinas College. My dad didn't like my mom maintaining a relationship with my grandma, she thought she was too controlling over her I guess. Grandma used to pick her up and go places and do things with her though and they stayed in close contact. My dad was a draft-evader which I pretty much knew. In fact both my parents got to know each other on a bus to Washington DC to protest the Vietnam War. What I didn't know was that my dads "job" at Forest View hospital (which he talks about frequently) was really community service after being arrested for draft evasion. (Heehee, I LOVE my dad, did I mention he is majorly different now. It just cracks me up to think of him as a free spirited, make love/not war hippie)!!

My parent were married at Woodbrook Cathedral by a pastor Stutts. I learned that my Grandfather (on my dad's side) was so against the fact that they were not being married in a Catholic church that he would not step foot in the building. His wife, my dad's mom was either already deceased at that time or in a coma from a brain aneurysm. My grandma I guess convinced him to come to the church at least, but he would not come in. My grandma worked hard to keep communication and relationships open between everybody. I guess when my dad's mom was dying and he was having a hard time because his relationship with her had been strained at best, she convinced him to go to her bedside at the hospital and speak his mind and say the things he wanted to say to her. I guess he later got mad at my grandma for convincing him his mom could hear him, when he learned his mother was considered brain dead. My dad never talks about his mom by the way. I know VERY little about her other than her name and that she died early from a brain aneurysm of some kind.

Three years after my parent were married, my mom became pregnant with me. By that time they were a little bit more settled (still hippies of course though). And my grandma recounted how great it was because all the family was there and involved in my parents lives when I was born. She recounted how they would take me to my great-grand parents house to visit them and then after my great grandma passed away and my great grand father was in a nursing home...they would take me to visit him and I was one of the only things or people that would make him smile. He was a very staunch, mean old man. I was so young but I do have vivid memories and images of going to visit him. Down to little details like a chinese checkers set in the visitors/waiting room and a leaf collage decoration I made to hang on his window.

We touched a bit about my parents divorce. She talked a bit about her own struggles with her marriage to my alcoholic grandpa at a time that was just changing and giving women more liberties and rights. However my grandpa, being 13 years older than her, was literally from another generation and had nothing to do with the changing times for women.

I would have loved to keep talking and listening to more, as she is a wealth of family history and knowledge, but by this time we'd already been parked in front of her apartment for a while and both my kids were asleep in back, awaiting their beds.

However, as much as I love and cherish these conversations, for some reason it makes me more scared and aware that my grandma's time here is limited. Since my own mother has been gone the past 2.5 years, I've become so much closer to her as we've both needed each other. KJ has also become totally infactuated with and in love with his Nana as well. And I feel guilty that sometimes I lay awake at night fearing the day will come too soon that KJ and E will loose their tender relationship with Nana.

Another reason toys with batteries are bad....

2008-02-09T09:11:00.001-05:00

Now don't get me wrong, I do like my kids to have educational toys, and normally this one would qualify. But not so much lately. I lazily just kept moving it around the house so KJ would stop playing with it and repeating what it sounds like it saying. Yesterday I finally pulled the batteries out and on the way home from work this morning I had to stop and get a few things from the store, so I grabbed some new (rechargable) batteries for this little guy.

I get so sick of changing batteries in toys lately, and really compared to lots of kids I know, my kids don't have THAT much. We have such a small house there is just not room. In fact I have been carting around a things Miss E got for Christmas in the back of the van. I wanted to ~~return~~ exchange them and geez o' pete's! They don't let you do anything without a reciept anymore...Maaaybe if you sign away your life and rights to your first born child, but you this offer is only extended ONCE per lifetime, at least the the case at Meijers. (Hmm...I wonder if I could tell them I'm a cat....you know...nine lives...). Well anyway, my video finally loaded so I will stop rambling and head to bed so I can go stamp out disease and save more lives tonight. ;)

Organize Unclutter 2008

2008-02-04T22:56:00.000-05:00

So its not a huge secret that I'm a terribly disorganized person with an atrociously cluttered house. However I am embarrased by it more and more now that I have children and potential "moms of so & so" (cause you know you loose your name when you have school age children right? You're just ____'s Mom) coming by with kids every now and then. That and even my 5 year old notices that my houskeeping abilites just quite arent up to par. OH! And its not just my house...my van too evidently. Just last week while dropping Elise off at school a fellow preschooler waited by our van door for her to get out and exclaimed "You need to clean your van"! Yeah...nice...shut up little princess. Heehee. Just Kidding.

So anyway, I'm taking on a challenge from Christine...I'm a bit nervous to do this as I'm already sure I'll fail, but seriously ANY motivation and help to be held accountable is a GOOD thing. So I introduce you (that don't already know) to:

And since this first cleaning and organizing challenge starts in the kitchen and refridgerator, I'm at least a step in the right direction since I just did the fridge/freezer when it "died".

I was tagged...

2008-02-03T22:46:00.000-05:00

Last Thursday by Christine, but since I'm still recovering after a few days of blowing chucks and liquids out both ends of my being (discriptive eh, sorry...I am a nurse), I'm just now getting around to catching up on the oh so many things I have to blog about (mostly inspired by Christine).

So here goes (although I might cheat):
6 Things About Me

First, the rules:
(1) Link to the person that tagged you.
(2) Post the rules on your blog.
(3) Share six non-important things/habits/quirks about yourself.
(4) Tag six random people at the end of your post by linking to their blogs.
(5) Let each random person know they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their website

1. I am a habitual bone cracker (ewww, I know)
2. I have a not so secret addiction to Little Debbie snacks (naughty)
3. I fairly recently purchased my very first ehm...adult toy...(hey trying to make this interesting)
4. My shower curtain has mold on it and I desperately need to change it
5. I'm VERY disorganized and have tons of clutter (which we'll be dealing with Veery soon, you'll see)
6. I can't sleep without socks on, except if its REALLY hot in the house, but I'm almost always freezing cold, especially in the winter.

So who to tag...seriously I don't know, so this is where I may cheat!!! I'm kinda fresh to this blogging thing. So Teachermom your up, and Tara at Never a Dull Moment, and Shawn how bout you too! :)

Happy Birthday baby......

2008-01-30T23:55:00.001-05:00

So Elise turned FIVE today. Jeepers, how did five years go by. I spent Tuesday night reminiscing about going into the hospital five years ago that night. I went into the hospital around 7pm and I gave birth to her at 1:50am. It was a great experience, like a fun rollercoaster ride! I remember totally wanting to do it again and being sad it was all over before I was even moved over to the post partum room. She was a tiny 6lbs 11oz. She was fiesty and very bright & alert from the very beginning and nothing has changed! HA!

For the past several weeks I've been teasing her that she is not allowed to get any older or grow any more (she's had a huge growth spurt upwards just in the past 3 weeks)! One night just for kicks as I was saying bedtime prayers with her I asked God not to let her get older, we both giggled and it was cute. Today I was heart broken for her because she was supposed to be the "helper" at school and get to celebrate her birthday but the darned weather ruined that as all the schools were closed today. I teased her that God listened and see, he was canceling her birthday for me. She immediately prayed out loud for God not to listen to me. Hahaha!! Its fun being able to joke with her on that kind of level now.

She took the school thing well and is satisfied with being the helper w/ the other scheduled "helper" on Friday. Now I just PRAY school isn't cancelled on Friday as well. Our family party was smaller tonight as well since the roads were still just too bad for some of the fam to come. I feel sort of bad/guilty since it was SO small and incredibly simple. Please reassure me I'm not a bad mom for not planning a big shin dig with her friends and games and balloons and all kinds of 5 year old mania. We #1 don't have a good place to do it, and #2 don't have the $$. I just hope she doesn't feel spiteful that several little preschool friends have had big 5 year old parties. The things us moms stay up obsessing about I tell ya. Ugh, it will only get worse I'm sure.

Um....I do need to work on her with some etiquette as she immediately asked my Grandma, who we picked up for the party, where her gift was for her. OIY!! Poor nana luckily laughed and told her she couldn't get to the store, but I knew she probably felt a little bad. I had to run into the store on the way there and found a little Thumbellina DVD for a few dollars so I grabbed it and let nana know she was covered, LOL. But sheesh!! I was so embarassed Elise even said that!! Any good suggestions on books for "little girl etiquette"?

Woohoo!!

2008-01-17T00:15:00.000-05:00

Just in case you were wondering the fridge is working. It now is nicely cleaned both in back and underneath and throughout the (cooling ?) coils. An old bottle brush came in handy for those coils. Now...I feel like an idiot, but there is a chance that it was actually just turned off from some nob inside the freezer. It was labeled defrost, and honestly I don't remember if I turned it to "off" while emptying out the melted mush or if it was accidentally turned before and voila...all cooling action ceased to exist. OMG!!! Only in my house could such a stupid thing happen. Oh well...we wasted some food, but my freezer and fridge SHINE now and theres nothing old and/or moldy anywhere. I'm glad we didn't call a repair man if that really was the issue. (DOH). I asked KJ if he did it and he blamed it on his 2 yr old cousin (Na-nio he calls him). "Na-nio do dat", "He boke eet". I'm a bit worried (yet amused) that my nearly 2 year old has learned to use his cousin as a scapegoat. (Its not the first time hes done that this week). Oiy! Gotta love kids.

Well its bedtime and DH just got home from work...so maybe I'll update more later when I'm not so tired!

Its Tuesday...

2008-01-15T11:07:00.000-05:00

And day 5 of having no refrigerator, as it totally died last week. Well, I take that back...we have a walk in fridge attached to the kitchen....its called the garage! Its not too bad, but a bit of a hassle. We do have a chest freezer in the garage as well, so we have food, but we still had to toss a ton of stuff that was thawed in the fridge/freezer. We don't have a dime to spend on getting it repaired right now, let alone a new one, so I'm REALLY hoping that some tips DH's uncle gave me last night will do the trick to get it running. (Basically vacuuming out the compressor). Send me cold vibes for the fridge. For once I WANT it to stay cold outside and am thankful for the winter weather, LOL.

This past Sunday we had a family gathering with my moms side of the family- kind of a belated Christmas party but also a birthday party for my grandma. I didn't feel it at the time but since then its just really made me miss my mom. For some reason today I just REALLY miss her. One thing about my mom was that she had TONS of clothes....she loved to shop and saved everything, so seeing that me, my grandma, aunt and sisters are all close to the same size and my mom had a variety of sizes...we split quite a bit of clothing between all of us. Some of it was even brand new...with tags. Yeah....she loved to shop and had nice stuff too! So by coincidence we ALL (me, sisters, aunt, g-ma) were wearing something of my moms at the party. We definitely didn't plan it, but it was kind of funny when we realized. Sort of made it feel like she was there somehow.

Elise is going to be FIVE in two weeks (the 30th)!! I can't believe she is that old already! I'm frustrated though, because I can't figure out when to have a party for her and its so close already. I wish I had the $$ to have a big party with her class, but I just don't. The problem is that my nephew's birthday is two days before hers and his party is Sunday. We could do a combined party with all BIL's family there, but I don't know if that would be too weird or not. We know them and all, but I can't decide. The following Sunday is Super Bowl so that was sort of declined too. I suck at planning parties.

KJ is such a little man already. He talks SO much. Just now he was asking "Mama pay hockey-me" (play hockey with me). Which consisted of using a toy hammer for the stick and a pretend nut for the puck. Its sort of golf-hockey. The boy got FOUR different toy tool sets for Christmas. Oiy! He is getting a stubborn side which I don't like but otherwise he is very sweet, almost always happy and eager to hug and cuddle and even says please and thank you! Seriously he's the perfect little boy (I'm sure I'm biased though). I need to get some pictures off my camera to share, I've been a slacker at that too lately. Ok...off to find lunch and try to motivate myself to get some housework done.

A new year, a new beginning....

2008-01-09T23:32:00.000-05:00

So its been over 6 months since I've blogged and so much has happened its impossible to catch up, but I will be brief in recapping the major points in hopes to excuse my absence.

The beginning of June my marriage blew up and I began a little jouney into single motherhood. To say that I was stressed and anxious is a huge understatement. I wound up needing to find a nanny for my kids every other weekend while I was working. These are for kids who have never been to a sitter or daycare...at all, minus a few times with some close friends who have kids the same age to play with. I spent a ton of time advertising, contacting, interviewing, and debating over who to choose and what to do. I can truly say that God was in control and led me to an awesome person/family that I honestly feel GOOD leaving my kids with, virtually no guilt, no anxiety. Maybe its just the prozac (wink), but honestly the whole thing has been quite refreshing. Its felt good to know that I CAN do it, and its been so, so good not to feel angry all the time. I'm truly just beginning to feel like the "real" me again...the happy one I used to know many years ago.

After taking a few weeks to harbor bad feelings, DH and I really did start to get along and communicate and focus on what was best for the kids. Over the past several months its become apparent that we do still really love each other, but we are not totally sure how to go about mending our marriage and relationship without winding up in the same mess we ended things on. Since Christmas he has been staying here every night but is working full time at a second shift job so our time together is sparse. The plan is for him to move the rest of his things home soon and we will officially START OVER. Its going to be hard, lots of work, especially not to slip back into old angry, frustrated patterns of behavior, but I pray that we can do it, for ourselves and also for our kids. They did ok with everything, but I do long (and intend) for them to have an intact family and one that is not an angry scary place with fighting parents (which is why the separation was so necessary). I'm excited for the changes, it feels good to have goals and positive ideals. So pray for us. I really believe its the only thing that has gotten us this far, and the major thing that will help us from here on!

I'm still alive....

2007-07-17T15:44:00.000-05:00

Just not up to blogging lately....

The new addition to the family.....

2007-06-03T20:09:00.000-05:00

No...don't get your hopes up for anything too exciting....

I'm just talking about my new (beloved) camera!! After MUCH, MUCH deliberation (and still self doubt in my decision), I have chosen this new family member:

He will be loved, cherished and taken almost everywhere with the family. I am beyond geeked to play with him and get to know everything about him. (I really don't usually personify my cameras, but hey).

I hope to get much more into photography and perfect some skills. I particularly enjoy taking pics of newborns and children but am open to anything. Sooo...if your willing to be a model for my practice and experimentation, let me know. My services are really cheap (like, FREE) at the moment, so let me know.

I'm so far behind!!!

2007-05-29T22:33:00.000-05:00

Well...on everything really. Thats cause I'm a procrastinator with a capital P! There's so many things I've wanted to post on to have a good way to remember them, but I'm also lazy....not a good combo with procrastination. Um..yeah.... I can also add things to the list like behind on...my dishes, laundry, city taxes (oops), spring cleaning (groan), etc, etc...I could go on and on and I'm sure I'd make nearly everyone else feel MUCH better about themselves and their accomplishments. Instead I'll post a few pictures from the last few weeks to a month to remember and share some good times!!

Miss E finished up her first dance class. She was very sad, but I'm sure we will sign her up again!! This was just a little 6 week class held by the city Parks and Rec dept.

And a trip to the Childrens Museum, with my nephew as well...

E's school also had a "Grandparents Day". It was set up for them to basically just visit for an hour. But I guess when her teacher said it was time for the Grandparents to go now but they were welcome to stay if they really wished, E looked at Grandpa with those big blue eyes and said "Your going to stay aren't you", and so she had him wrapped around her finger... I was a bit shocked to still see him there when I picked her up later that afternoon. :)

Ok....I either suck at adding pictures, or this is not a very userfriendly site for easily getting pics in the midst of text. Tiss really ticking me off now! Oh well...more to come later.

I guess I needed to take a cold shower...

2007-05-26T18:38:00.000-05:00

No, not for anything very exciting....just because my little man (the 14/almost 15 month old) is a jokester (already) and decided to come in the bathroom, reach in and turn the hot water off mid-shower. I must have done a spiffy little jig and yelped a high pitched scream that tickled his fancy because he found it HI-LARIOUS to repeat the little prank a few more times. Actually he tried many more times than he succeeded but he would collapse into a giggling fit as soon as he reached his hand past the shower curtain. I would dart him that "don't you dare" glance and he was shrieking and giggling so hard no one could hardly stand it, it was that cute. How, HOW could I be mad then!! Ugh...he is such a cute, mischievous little bugger!!!!

Happy Mothers Day.....

2007-05-13T09:19:00.000-05:00

Perhaps its strange but I have had a harder time this year than last with feeling emotional about my mom. Even though last year was the first Mothers Day without her, I think I was still in a bit of a hormonal glow after having KJ and maybe just knew I wasn't in a "good place" to have a melt down. I dunno.

But anyhow.....I REALLY, REALLY miss ya mom. Its just NOT fair you are gone. I'm so glad I have been blessed with the opportunity to be a mom myself. Everyday I am struck even more with how great a mother you were when I realize the amount of patience, love and understanding you had for each of us. I wish I could measure up to that. And I wish even more you were here to help me be that mom for my kids. Oh I wish you could see the kids!!! I know you'd be proud.

This was two years ago...the last Mothers Day I had with her.... Pardon the fact that I look like total crap. I had worked the night before but my mom was leaving town and I insisted that I get some pictures that day with her and with Miss E so I got up, threw on clothes and went out for pictures ...(they are a bit fuzzy cause I cropped and enlarged them)...

Thank You Jesus!!

2007-05-07T21:53:00.000-05:00

Thank you for the SUNSHINE and warm weather!!! Its just so nice to be outside with the kids and feel the nice warm rays o' sun beating down. Today's weather here was pretty darn near perfect!! I power washed off the Little Tykes house thing that we got for Miss E a few years ago and KJ just LOVED it!! He was in high heaven, peaking out the doors and windows, repeating "Hi" each time he looked out, going in and out 2 million times so he could open and shut the door. FUN times. I need to take some pictures!! We also blew some bubbles (KJ was quite perplexed, he kept saying "Ball" and looked a bit frustrated trying to catch them), played on the swing set, and KJ played in a mud puddle :)~ . We then headed off to E's little dance class but she was sound asleep when we got there and it took some serious prodding to get her out there with her class. After that we headed over to my MIL's (Grammy) and had dinner and soaked in the hot tub. The kids were in and out playing in a huge pile o' sand thats been put down in preparation for a pool to be put in (above ground). This time I remembered to bring jammies so the kids were knocked OUT by the time we got home.

Yesterday was good too. Sunday I napped about 4 hours or so after I got home from work. Dh was lovely enough to take both the kids to his moms house so I could have peaceful sleep and then in the early evening we all met up a little Carnival at a nearby park. Miss E was so excited she could not contain herself, it was so cute to watch her beaming with glee. Mr. K busied himself kicking a blow up beach ball all over the place and throwing himself over it rolling all over the grass and just having a grand old time. It was so funny because he kept kicking it up to total strangers and just look up at them waiting for them to kick it back. I of course forgot my camera. The kids pretty much had a few bites of a hot dog and elephant ears for dinner...I was told they had a very good lunch with Grammy earlier...so it all evens out right??

I'm so ready for summer!! Thank you sunshine!!

Illness report sigh

2007-05-03T17:28:00.000-05:00

Soooo....E and KJ BOTH have Pink Eye (conjunctivitis), E still has a bit of a UTI and will most likely need to go for a *VCUG (where they stick a catheter in and put dye in your bladder, stick you under fluoroscope and watch you pee) and an Ultrasound of her kidneys. KJ STILL has an ear infection...probably both sides, but he was uncooperative and she couldn't see the left one as well. So who knows...he could wind up with tubes too at this rate.

Today DH will go to have his glucose and cholesterol checked, both of which have been high in the past. And I am already hoarse and half way to having no voice again, coughing and gaging on pharyngeal nastiness and blowing my nose every 2 seconds. I told DH I'm looking for a bridge to jump from cause I am just so DONE with being sick and dealing with everything. Ironically I'm the only one in the family not on antibiotics at the moment, yet I'm pretty sure I feel the crappiest this morning. I'm also pretty sure I'm getting the Pink Eye too.

*Interestingly KJ had/has enlarged kidneys that we are still tracking and he already had a VCUG, in fact he should be due for another kidney U/S sometime soon too. His VCUG was normal and we have not had any sign or symptoms that he has urinary tract infections, but the question has been raised if its a genetic thing both could have, and maybe why we are seeing the chronic infection with E.

So many questions....

2007-05-02T23:27:00.000-05:00

So Miss E's really been focusing a lot on Heaven and God questions lately. For me its a mix of heartwarming emotion that she's learning and internalizing about these things and deep fear that I'll mess her up with my inadequate answers.

So today out of nowhere she aks if God has a "Changing table station for KJ" in heaven (for KJ and other babies). Its hard to explain to her that you don't need any of that there. Let alone broaching the topic that I hope none of up wind up there for a LONG, LONG time.

And then anytime she sees a picture of me/DH before she was born she asks if she was in my tummy or "If God was still making her". But then today she asked me "Well, who made God?" Oiy, yi, yi.....I'm not ready for this, LOL!!

I'm SOO done with the C.R.A.P.

2007-05-02T22:42:00.000-05:00

Ok...will the FREAKING germs leave NOW!!! I am SOOOOOO tired of the medical bills and dealing with illness (CRAP= Constant Respiratory and Airway Problems) in our house. It just will not end and has been physically (and mentally) exhausting the past few months. We've had a few glimpses of warmer summer weather and I'm just so ready for it to come full force in hopes that we can get out more and dispense of all the germs. I had a horrible viral/sinus thing in January that never totally went away and then had it really bad again (horrible sore throat, no voice, total sinus congestion etc...) through half of March into April. The doctor I saw claimed it was mostly allergies, but since I'd often run a fever with it, I know it was a sinus infection. It finally seemed to clear up but now that Miss E has been sick with the same CRAP and I feel my throat starting to get scratchy again. If I get this AGAIN...look for me on the nearest bridge. I'm that frustrated. That's just me...in the meantime we've dealt with these medical issues the past month or so too:

E's UTI and constipation issues (got through her antibiotics and currently still on Lactulose and several dietary measures), KJ's ear infection/perforated eardrum, DH went to ER two Saturdays ago with a really bad fungal foot infection that developed into a serious bacterial infection that started spreading up his leg. He luckily was not admitted, but is STILL on really potent antibiotics and finally walking on it more than a hobble here and there. We had a follow-up appt. last week and he is also starting on some diabetic medication as he is pre-diabetic and most likely developing diabetes (which is no surprise to me since it runs in his family and he is a huge guy who eats like crap). So tomorrow I bring both kids in again...this time to recheck E's urine and address her pink eye, and really nasty cold...I think she has Adenovirus...but we'll see what they say. Unfortunately I just made the appt with a nurse practitioner thinking they would just be checking her urine and talking about that, and KJ needs his ears checked again to make sure the perforated one is healing, but I suspect he still has an infection as he spiked a mysterious fever a few days ago and is fussy off and on. And then Friday DH goes in again to have his glucose, cholesterol and foot checked again. Let me tell you, at $20 a co-pay for each person/office visit plus $20-$40 per every prescription we get, not to mention the ER cost, its been SO expensive. You'd think working for a hospital would mean decent insurance but...uh....Nada.

Dude....I feel like all I do when I finally post here is complain. Yikes!! I do need to record some more of E's funny comments before I forget too.

Die germs die!!!

Milestones and memories...

2007-04-11T21:43:00.000-05:00

This was the first Easter that Miss E really heard about the Biblical Easter story in depth and its generated some cute discussions between the two of us. First she kept calling it "Great Friday" which was sweet. And then there were some conversations like this one:

E: Can I go to heaven mom?

Me: Yep, but hopefully not for a long, long time, like when your really old, and once you have Jesus in your heart.

E: Once you are in heaven, if you forgot something, you can come back to get it right?

Me: NO...once you are in heaven you can never come back. That's why we miss the people who have died so much... because they can never come back.

E: But what if you really need something?

Me: You just ask God, he will have EVERYTHING you need.

E: Well, what if I need to go potty, I don't know where his potty is!?

Me: You can just ask him and he'll tell you (laughing)

And then there were a number of other questions about "God's potty", LOL!! Oh and of course mention that she can't wait to get to heaven to see her cat Snicklefritz. She cracks me up.
_____________________________________________

The NOT GOOD milestone of the day/week/month:

Today my little man managed to totally knock his tooth out. The gate at the top of our basement stairs gave in this morning and KJ fell, just onto the landing, but flat on his face. I picked him up to find blood pouring out of his mouth. He literally knocked one of his bottom front teeth out. I'm so sad and ill to my stomach about it. There is nothing that they can do, unfortunately, just wait for his permanent teeth. I should just be thanking Jesus he didn't tumble around the corner and down the rest of the stairs and get hurt worse, but its hard not to be sad.

I know he'll still be my perfectly cute little man, but he has the most adorable little smile and goofy faces he makes already and I just know I'll be panged with guilt for a long time now, every time I see his toothy-less-one-tooth smile. At 13 months E was only getting her 2nd or 3rd tooth and at the same age Mr. KJ's already knocking his out. *sigh*

An update on my life....

2007-04-05T18:54:00.000-05:00

So I know I thought I would quick update on lifes progress/happenings the past couple weeks as I don't think I've actually updated the blog with that info yet. In a few weeks I will start working Friday and Saturday nights (rather than Sunday), and hope to get into our old routine of going to the Sunday *night* service at church. We haven't been going much at all lately because I'm usually just dragging too bad and my sleep is too messed up to get moving early enough on Sunday mornings and then I have to work Sunday night. So while I'm a bit anxious about pretty much being zapped out of life and society (aka: not with my kids) for 2.5-3 days straight, I'm hoping it helps. It will be an adjustment to come home from work Saturday morning and attempt to sleep a full 6-8 hours to go back to work Saturday night. I feel that KJ is old enough to survive the afternoon without being with me all day. He still is addicted to nursing but its not every 2-3 hours like it used to be. (Well, somedays if he's teething and or sick it might be but not normally). Now I just need to come up with some structured activities to send DH and the kids OUT to do every Saturday so I can get a block of undisturbed sleep. Even just 3 (quiet) hours would be heavenly and lets me fall into a deep sleep so I don't hear every noise in our small house. Any suggestions or ideas????

I am still keeping my eye on other job opportunities and have my foot in the door if another position opens in that Urgent Care Center....but honestly...I'm still hesitant if thats the right position for me. I've thought more and more about something with less "depair and illness" like labor and delivery or post-partum care, or something like that. I don't know. Eventually I'd still like to go back and become a nurse practitioner so I need to spread my horizons a bit...just not sure which direction right now...so for now I continue to stay in my comfort zone. Ah well.

DH and I are doing a bit better. Getting along pretty good, working on defining our roles around the house a little better and dividing/sharing the chores in an organized manner. We are still working on hashing that all out...but I'm hoping we will be diligent enough to stick with it and make the needed changes. We both have huge (lack of) motivation issues, (DH more than me) so we need some structure to our lives to keep us in line. What we need is a drill sargent, haha!!

Revenge of the Pregnant Nuns....

2007-04-02T21:42:00.000-05:00

I took care of a funny patient last night. He was technically an intermediate/stepdown patient overflowed into our unit (meaning he was not critically ill). In general I've learned to appreciate having patients that are sedated and on a ventilator. (It cuts down on the call lights and complaining for one thing). I know that is crass and awful....but seriously if you ask just about any Critical Care Nurse they will agree...we like 'em sedated (for practical reasons it keeps them calm and able to tolerate the ventilator and many tubes/IV's etc...)!!!! BUT....sometimes it IS a welcome breath of fresh air to have a less critical and "fun" patient that you can really converse with. SO last night I took care of a guy who shared my sense of witty humor. For the record I work in a Catholic hospital. There's really not much about it that makes it particularly "Catholic" anymore, but once upon a time it was founded by the "Sisters of Mercy" and throughout its early history was staffed largely by nuns and catholic layman. I don't know WHY I'm rambling on about all this, but basically my point was to get to my patients comment all night long when I'd have to disturb his sleep to check his vitals, or he'd complain about the stupid hospital gowns etc.... He'd declare it was revenge of the pregnant nuns. I guess it was funnier in the moment. But it will be interesting to see how many Google hits I get for "pregnant nuns" in the title. I think it would make a good name for a rock band?? What do yo think?

In other witty humor, I just moments ago impressed myself with a quick comback to DH. He was making a Cream Soda float and kept wanting me to try it. I was uninterested at the moment and he said "I can't BELIEVE you don't want to try perfection"!!! To which I instantly replied in a coy tone "I've already reached perfection dear, I don't need to taste it". Hooya!! Do you know how SELDOM I come up with stuff like that in the moment. Usually I'll think of a good comeback hours or days later when it doesn't matter. Yes...I'm obviously bored this evening since I'm rambling on about work and how I impress... myself!! DOH!! What about you...are you on the ball and witty in the moment or hours later?

Such a bad, bad mom...

2007-03-23T11:21:00.000-05:00

So I'm just NOT at all a morning person. This is no secret. The other thing that's not at all a secret around here is that Miss Sassy is insanely jealous of KJ and the time I spend with him, nursing/changing/playing...whatever. Her feelings usually come out as aggression or Sassy rebellion. We've been trying to talk to her about it more lately and I've told her that if she really feels left out or in need of more attention to verbalize her feelings to me. So this morning after I dragged myself out of bed, sat at my computer trying to wake myself up (my computer is like my morning coffee) and tried to keep KJ satisfied by periodically nursing him on my lap and sending him on his way to play for a few minutes until he tripped/bumped himself/had something taken away/was told "no"/felt the stars misaligned/etc....and crumpled into a whimpering heap of needing mommy-ness DD and I had this little snippet of conversation:

DD: "Mom, I feel like your not paying attention to me, your just paying attention to KJ".
Me: (in my irritated still drowsy delirium and sarcasm) "No dear, I'm not paying attention to either of you. I'm trying to ignore both of you equally."

Do I get points for being honest??

Sorry blog...

2007-03-16T08:52:00.000-05:00

I have not forsaken thee... Just been busy, distracted, and not up to blogging. Life's been complicated. I think I just got so far behind...I didn't know where to start catching up. Long story short....DH and I are experiencing some marriage *difficulties* to put it lightly, I did not get the new job (partly my own fault for not pursuing harder), Miss Sassy has had huge bowel and bladder issues with a huge UTI and on meds for that, but doing much better with the UTI/bladder part....still dealing with huge constipation issues though. (I think this majorly contributes to the "SASSY-ness")

KJ turned ONE on March 4th. I'm so sad. I can't believe I didn't blog about that!! I think I'm in denial it happened though, he just can't be that old. I was on vacation for two weeks the end of February/first week of March and just had fun doing stuff with my kids. We made it to the local gardens for a Butterfly exhibit, Disney on Ice, lots of shopping, two birthday parties for KJ, and lots of lounging in pj's for half the day (or all day, doh).

So DH and I are trying to figure out what to do with ourselves. I know I've posted my frustrations and discontent in the past and a month or so ago things just kind of came to a head and exploded. It was not pretty. Still isn't really, but at least we are talking and want to make things better, we just don't know how exactly.

So anyhow...I will leave this post as is...and be back for more later....

Interview news...

2007-02-13T22:11:00.000-05:00

So I had my interview today. I was surprisingly not very nervous at all. I guess because the actual interview was held in the HR dept at the main hospital where I work now, so I was in my comfort zone still. I went into it with the perspective that I was doing some interviewing myself to get a better feel for what this new urgent care center will be like. I'm encouraged because its goal is to function like a free standing ER so there is still potential to get seriously ill patients and use some of my critical care skills. *bonus* My benefits and vacation would definitely transfer, YAY! And they still plan to emphasize the warm caring atmosphere and camaraderie that the main hospital departments exemplify. I really believe that the nursing staff where I work stand out above the rest and wouldn't want to loose that. Overall it went very well.

Sooo....I requested to tour/shadow at the *potential new job* to make sure the environment and staff seem agreeable before I toss 9.5 years in my comfort zone out the window. And it sounded pretty definite that I would have a second interview as well, not sure if it would be that same day or later, but this one would be a panel of 3 people. UGH....THAT does make me a bit nervous. So I have some more praying/contemplating to do, but I think I may be in for a big job change!!

Am I crazy to WANT to work every Fri/Sat/Sun 3pm-11pm? Will that drive me nuts? Three eight hour shifts ending at 11ish just sound better than 2 overnight shifts me. Its one more night a week I won't put my kids to bed, but I'll be there if they wake up in the middle of the night and won't have to sleep all the next day and/or be as tired and grouchy. At least thats what I'm thinking. Ok, I need to stop obsessing about this, but I just hate making big decisions.

Poop and stuff...

2007-02-11T12:19:00.000-05:00

There's been so many times that I wanted to get here and blog the past week or so but just never quite made it. Instead I aimlessly wander through other people blogs and the many online forums I try to frequent. I've also been a bit down. Things are not so glorious on the homefront and I'm not sure what will happen with all that, but thats another story. I have a job interview Tuesday for a job with better hours, hopefully close to the same pay, but totally different environment than what I'm in...its at an urgent care center. I just don't know if I can go from high acuity ICU/CCU environment to sniffly noses, fevers and strep throat type stuff and feel satisfied with it. And how do you weigh out physical/schedule benefits over the emotional/mental job satisfaction benefits. I just don't know. I don't know if I'll get offered the job anyway since I don't have any urgent care experience. I think an ER job would be right up my alley...but I'm not so sure about this one.

I wasn't going to harp on this more cause I know I've already vented to many people but its just eating at me that my step-dad just returned from Hawaii where he was getting engaged to his girlfriend and basically spending my mom's life insurance money that was given to me and my sisters. Before my mom died she expressed that she wanted him to have larger portion of the $$ so he could more adequately take care of my very handicapped step-sister. (I don't think they had custody of her when my mom named her beneficiaries). Soooo.....we are all a close knit family and caring, giving people so we basically gave him all of it with the understanding it would be used to pay off medical and funeral bills and then be to help cover expenses caring for her at home vs. a living center. We didn't anticipate that he would jump on Yahoo personals a few weeks after she was gone and start dating a mear month after her death, about the same time we all wrote him huge checks for the life insurance $$. I'm filled with such warmth and joy (sarcasm) knowing I helped pay for their several trips this past summer and now their engagement and vacation in Hawaii. I don't think angry begins to describe my emotion. I'm inwardly combusting. At least they didn't come back already married (unless they are keeping it a secret).

The poop issue is finally resolved for the moment as Miss Sassy just pooped about an 18 inch log thats been petrifying in her bowels for the past week. I've spent the last week (yes a week of constipation) keeping her mostly in pull-up because it just kept leaking little bits and we ruined several pairs of underwear. The past few days were spent largely in the bathroom cleaning poop from everywhere (the floor, carpet, toilet seat, bathtub) over, and over again, and coaching her to poo. *sigh* We fight about going to the bathroom and I find myself yelling at her over these bathroom issues because it gets so frustrating and tiring for all involved. I DO NOT want to do this again. The 1-2 apples/day, fiber shakes, oatmeal a few times a week, and extra water don't seem to be helping. Any other ideas? She's become picky about things, especially anything strong tasting...if it tastes funny, there's no getting it into her. I'm seriously considering asking for a stool softener but I don't know if you can have them this young (4). I'm just sure her bowels get huge and dilated and I'm worried over time with this issue it will have more negative effects (physical and emotional).

Happy Birthday Sweetheart...

2007-01-30T01:02:00.000-05:00

So four years ago this moment...I was fully dilated and starting to "push" (only took me 15-20 minutes) to give birth to my amazing and precious daughter Elise. It was quite amazing, a rush really. The first few moments right after she was born were scary because she had some fluid on her lungs and the cord had been wrapped around her neck and tightened as I pushed her out. My OB doc was awesome though and things went quite smoothly. After they whisked her away to suctioned her and give her a bit of oxygen, I got to hold my little wonder in my arms for the first time a few moments later. Man how time flies. Now my little girl is almost too big to pick up in my arms. Her face has changed and matured so much already and she has such personality and energy about her. She drives me batty now and then (ok quite a bit), but we love each other so much too. We've talked about feeling someones love in our hearts and she's told me a few times "Mama...I feel you in my heart..." Now if that doesn't make you melt!! So today she gets to celebrate her FOURTH birthday at her preschool (another sign she is getting big) and then a small celebration later at night. She went to bed with a bit of a cold I'm praying its not any worse by morning as it would break my heart to have to keep her home on her birthday. Her birthday goodie bags (hand stamped and decorated brown paper bags) are filled (VERY modestly) and ready to go, the cookies we made together are ready for the class snack. How does the time go by so fast? It really, truly seems to slip through our fingers like sand. Happy Birthday my sweet girl!!

He's gonna be a stinker...

2007-01-23T03:31:00.000-05:00

Ok, so he already IS a stinker... But its 3:30AM and what is my lil' 10 month old doing. He's WIDE AWAKE, playing happily in the living room. To be more specific, he's busy pooping his diaper and trying fervently to shove puzzle pieces down the heat register. I mean he is REALLY working at the puzzle down the register thing. Should I be worried that he only displays so much focus on stinkerish activities? *sigh*

Well, I'm off to change a diaper and hopefully get him back to bed.

Discontented...

2007-01-22T09:14:00.000-05:00

I'm not even positive that's a word, but its how I feel. Something needs to change...probably lots of things need to change, but SOMETHING has to change in my schedule and life in general. I'm DYING doing the third shift thing every Friday and Sunday night and often an on-call shift in the middle of the week and never, ever, ever, getting decent sleep due to #1) a screwed up internal clock, #2) a baby that still wakes up at night, #3) A Small house and Children that make noise during the day while I'm trying to nap before and/or after my shifts.

I'm an ICU nurse and really, I should be at peak performance, not struggling to keep my lids open and praying for inertia to propel me toward my patients rooms to finish up all my tasks in the morning at the end of my shift. And I just have no patience (not patients) for ANYONE. Everyone seems to annoy me these days. That's not nice. I don't to be *that* grumpy, negative person at work and I feel really bad for my kids when I get grumpy and short at home.

My DH works part time and has 2 million excuses why he can't get a job that will work around my schedule (and since I bring home nearly all of the income working this weekend program it doesn't make sense to give it up). Its all just hogwash I tell you. And I'm going to smack him and his mom if I ever hear one of them tell me one more time that it would just be easier if I picked up one more shift than for DH to get a job....you know because I make.so.much.money!!! Whatever!!!

And I won't even get started on all the little crappy things at work that tick me off lately. I will have been at my hospital for TEN years this coming July so I don't want to just up and leave my organization and loose all my seniority. But, I was scoping out a position in a new urgent care center run by hospital but at a remote site. Its 3pm-11pm, and I believe every Fri, Sat. and Sunday. So I'd still be on the weekend program and get my time and a half. Very tempting. I'm trying to get up the guts to at least inquire or apply for it.

I don't know, I realize I'm just rambling here, but I feel like something needs to change. I feel so pressured and stressed out trying to be a good mom making the right parenting choices, the main breadwinner, and an ICU nurse who has lots of responsibility and liabilities every time I work. My house is a pit and I lack any motivation to even get the basics done anymore. I feel like I'm getting depressed and I need a jolt out of it.

Ok, I just came back to add that part of this is probably hormones too since its been 19 months since I've had a period and I'm sure I'm in for a huge one. So, yeah, some of this frustration and discontent are fueled by lack of sleep delerium and hormones...

Post holiday guilt

2007-01-10T21:31:00.000-05:00

I can't escape it. My main dilemma....Do I keep eating all the holiday candy and mmmm.... *chocolates* and feel guilty eating so much CRAP?

OR, do I toss them and feel guilty for wasting them?

I've already brought a significant amount to my work. I guess I could just keep donating. Is there a chocolate donation write off at tax time? Hmp. I didn't think so.

Seriously if you knew how much candy I was eating a day you would be APPALLED!! Its that bad. But I'm just doing my duty to protect the rest of my family from its woeful ways. Yes, I'm a martyr like that, always looking out for the well-being of others. *sigh*

Superfluous Slippers....

2007-01-08T09:57:00.000-05:00

SO 10 parties and 6 pairs of slippers later..... And my Christmas is FINALLY OVER!! If I could make one recommendation to those of you with large extended families that buy you Christmas gifts.....do NOT include "slippers" on a list that goes out to all those groups of family members. I dunno....maybe your family isn't as slipper prone as mine. But I received a grand total of SIX PAIRS of slippers. And only one of them are the slip on style that I like. Two of them have intact tags and I think I might be able to return them. The rest I am stuck with. I do like some of them, but really? I will never put slippers on my list again....at least not for the next 6 years. I did get some really awesome gifts this year if you don't mind me bragging about them? Like you could protest and stop me...heehee.

My MIL got me/us TWO memberships to awesome places to take the kids. One family+guest to the local zoo and one to some local gardens that both indoor and outdoor exhibits and some really cool events throughout the year. I'm so geeked about these. It makes me feel guilty for the gripping I do about MIL (both in my head and out loud at times). I also received a sewing machine from my Dad and step-mom that I'm excited to learn to use. I got a new velour sweatsuit/outfit and lots of other neat odds and ends too. We always get spoiled. The kids made out great too with lots of good stuff. Surprisingly many people bought them more educational type stuff and things I'd requested. I totally need to stock some of their stuff away though and pull it out throughout the year and/or rotate it though.

In other news: Mr. KJ is cranky this week because he is cutting at least two teeth (one top, one bottom) and there are others right behind them waiting to pop too. I think he was saying his first word Saturday night at the infamous "last x-mas party". He was quite notably calling the dog at times and it was so sweet. He got licked to pieces by my S&BIL's big huge Rottweiler puppy. He seems to be a great dog and KJ had NO fear of him. We were always careful to make sure we (one of "Wyatt's" parents, and one of us) were right there any time the kids were near him (even though he's a great dog, but also still young). But KJ would plow right over to him at times and giggle at all the face lickings and stick his hands out beckoning the dog for more once he walked away. .
Elise was also smitten with the dog and both of them bonded quite well. Of course she's going to be asking for a dog everyday now I'm sure.

Whew. I'm just so glad to be done with all the holiday stuff and try to get back to a regular schedule!!

Confused Conservationism?

2007-01-02T10:08:00.000-05:00

From Miss E the other day:

E: "Dada! You left the water running!!"

Him: "I know, I'm trying to thaw out a turkey for supper at Grammy's, so I'm putting it in warm water"

E: (appearing disturbed and exasperated) "Well......you can't WASTE the water.......the lights will all burn out" (as she waves and looks to the ceiling).

So at least she *kind of* understands that we don't want her to leave the water running and to turn the lights off when not in use.

Happy New Year!!

2007-01-01T15:14:00.000-05:00

Let me recap the past few weeks for you just by the parties and events that we were supposed to and mostly DID attend. Keep in mind that I work Friday nights third shift so for each Saturday party it meant little to NO sleep for me. I've been so sleep deprived lately this last month was a bit of a blur.

December 9- (Sat.) My dads side, "extended family", started at 11am so I worked all Friday night and never slept this day at all. Was in bed by 8:30pm.

December 16- (Sat.) My work party (we skipped this one and went shopping till 12 am with KJ tow, E saw Peter Pan at the theater and spent the night with my dad and step-mom).

December 20- Ok, no party but was out with both kids shopping and running errands (KJ strapped to me in the carrier) from 1pm to 8 pm. We ate dinner AT the mall and skipped the 10 mile line to see Santa. They played in the play area and rode the carousel instead.

December 23- (Sat.) Christmas with my moms extended family

December 24- (we had THREE places to be this day). I had to work at 7pm so we made it to my Dad and step-moms so we (my sisters included) could exchange gifts with Dad and step-mom (from 1-4pm). About 4pm DH dropped me off at home so I could take a speedy nap and he and the kids made their way to HIS dad and step-moms extended family party from about 5-8pm. While they dropped me off at home we put out the milk and cookies for Santa since I would be gone and it was likely E would fall asleep in the car on the way home from party #2 (or #3 if they made it). They never made it to #3 which was my step-moms family party (her mom and sisters).

December 25- Got home about 8:15am, quickly showered and started "traditional" Christmas morning with the kids, opening presents and stockings. I didn't stay up for breakfast, but Dh made some for the kids. I slept for a nice little while and later that night at 6pm we went to my step-dads (moms) house to exchange gifts among my sisters and my step-dad. This was a nice laid back time with my sisters. A little hard to do without my mom and a little "biting" if you will, because my step-dad included his girlfriends name on several of the name tags and let us know she picked out and wrapped most of the gifts. (Yeah, I don't know if I've told many people, but he's had a girlfriend for some time now) Grrr. Anyhow, she did earn some bonus points with some really CUTE gifts including handmade scarves and hats for the kids and a wooden horse for E that her dad handmade. She was not there however. Luckily my step-dad KNEW that would not go over well (especially with my youngest sister). Although this was technically our second Christmas without mom, it had happened so recently last year that it was all a blur and a fog of a Christmas, so this really felt more like the first Christmas without her.

December 26 & 27 - Lots of lounging and playing with new toys!! Dh's Dad and step-mom came over with more gifts for the kidlets that they didn't give them at their extended family gathering on Christmas eve.

December 28- An evening party with Dh's extended family (from his moms side) at his moms. we were there from about 5pm till um....2AM!!!! Yikes!!!

December 29 (Sat.)- Post party at Dh's moms to eat leftovers, visit with his uncle still in town, and use the hot tub since it was just too busy on the "big" party night.

Jan 6- The LAST scheduled CHRISTMAS party we have that is with Dh's siblings and Mom and step-dad. This is usually a laid back gathering as well, but we STILL have some baking, shopping and wrapping to do this week for this party since we've been busy and procrastinating. UGH!!!

Oh I am SOOO ready to be done. What is that about 10 gatherings with family?! Will it EVER end?? I was in the Christmas mood till a few days ago, but now that the new year has past, I am DONE. If I can get to it this week the tree will come down. I'm afraid it might wait till after our last party and come down next week, I guess we will see.

I'll have to discuss gifts in another post since this one is already a novel!

Happy 2007!! (Only 357 days till the next Christmas and the next round of madness)!

I can't keep up...

2006-12-13T22:44:00.000-05:00

I don't know where the days, weeks, and hours go.

A couple weeks ago we were internet-less when our modem died and we had to wait for the new one to arrive. I went SIX whole days (ok, maybe 5.5 technically) without internet access and I did not even log on at work or go to the library. So its been one week since we've been back online, and I am actually finding that I am not online *quite* as much as before....which really IS a good thing, so maybe the internet hiatus was good for me.

Mr. K is into everything these days and can also be quite demanding of my attention, which then makes big sis jealous of my demanded attention and she therefore demands it too. On the flip side they do play together more often now. Its precious to watch them both giggling together. Mr. K adores his sister and tries to be with her as much as he can. This past Friday she spent the night with her Aunt B and Uncle A. Saturday morning KJ woke up, played in the living room for a bit and then crawled into Sissy's room, pulled himself up to peer into her bed and broke out into full blown tears when he discovered she wasn't there. So sad and cute at the same time.

Saturday was my Dads side of the family Christmas party. I worked the night before and it started at 11:00am so I opted t try and stay awake. I actually fell asleep for two hours before we left home but after a long day I was in bed and asleep by 8:30 that night. I was in bed for 10 hours that night!

Today I was feeling really crappy (sore throat, feverish) so I spent half the day in bed. I have yet to do several loads of laundry, take Christmas pictures of the kids, do Christmas cards, and continue my last minute Christmas shopping. Its late Wednesday night and I work Friday and Sunday night. How much do you think I can get done this week? I guess we'll see. I'm not holding my breath. There are just so many things I want to get done before Christmas and I have no idea if I'm going to.

Milestones....

2006-11-26T09:34:00.000-05:00

I need to record everything Mr. K is doing these days before I forget it all. And this is just easier than filling out the baby book at the moment. So here goes:

SO at 8.5-9 months KJ is a little bundle of energy and cuteness! He's crawling like a champ with great speed. He loves chasing the cats (he LOVES animals) and trying to follow around his big sister. Its cute to watch the two of them interact so much already. Despite E's (Miss Sassy's) tendencies to overwhelm him at times, she really is a good and attentive big sister. He is also pulling up on furniture the past week or so and I think he will be taking steps and cruising any day now. I think he's starting to get good at mimicking things. He is pretty proficient at giving kisses and has recently started "blowing" kisses too which has got to be the sweetest thing!! He'll take his whole little hand and pat his mouth and smile at you. Every once in a while he even gets out a smacking sound.

He's already got three top teeth and two bottom teeth and many more following. Poor thing, I can't imagine the teething pain. He babbles a TON, including mama, dada, ba, nana, and several other consonant sounds and combinations. He shouts in protest when you take something away. His reflux seems to be getting a little bit better, but I don't want to jinx myself on that. He eats just about anything...seems to have an affection for paper and leaves though. He still nurses frequently, but is already showing a dislike for "baby food". He's pitching a fit for what we have on the table. If I can I grind it up in the baby food grinder, but well....we tend to eat a lot of Mexican and moderately spicy food around here that I'm not ready to puree for him. But more and more I'm giving him chunks and pieces of soft foods the rest of us are eating. I've probably broken quite a few feeding "rules" as I know he's had tastes of dairy and even some nuts (accidentally).

He's a waterboy! Loves, loves, loves taking a bath and playing in or with water. You can just wash his hands in the sink and he gets giddy. Oh yes, and the dancing! He dances...bobbles his big ol' head and bounces his whole body when he hears music...any kind of music....even singing. Its SOOOO cute! He's showing more and more affection for dada and gets excited to play with him, but overall is still very much a mama's boy. Its good to watch him grow more secure with daddy though.

Overall he's just so sweet and cute I could eat him up. I just can't believe he's 9 months old already. I really don't know where the time goes!