Tough words...

So tonight I've had the experience of telling a young patient recently more awake and out of a sedated state that they were completely paralyzed and would likely stay that way permanently. If my heart could jump out of my chest and wrap its self around my patient at a moment like that it would. I can't even descibe the feeling. I was trying to totally absorb my patients emotions and give words that spoke reassurance, yet an ounce of truth, sprinkled with hope, and topped with a gentle carress and smile to show I truly do care. My heart was bleeding though.

I luckily seem to have a talent at lip reading which comes in handy for my often vented/trached patients. I am glad that I can figure out their needs and provide a bit of relief to their frustrations with commuicating. Although, it often still takes me several times of asking them to repeat things, if I can get it in the end, its a huge satisfaction to both of us. Its also nice to let the family see and be reassured that you can effectively care for their loved one so they can actually go home or at least to a warm bed somewhere to get some sleep.

In other work news, it has FINALLY been confirmed that I will be keeping my current weekend option schedule. In Feb. we are moving to a brand new building and about 4 units will be combined into two. We will supposedly become a "universal" unit of both ICU and intermediate pt's, therefore reducing the need to 'transfer' to another floor when changing status between those two placement categories. The nurses are placing bets on how long that arrangement will last. It shall be interesting. As always they (you know the almighty administrative *they*) hold the right to change or terminate my weekend contract, but with all the mayhem of the new building and unit and many new staff members, we think it will be a long time before they get around to looking at our weekend positions. Besides its all the experienced, senior staff that have them, and they can't afford to loose us. Unfortunately there's a small argument that they can't afford to keep us (since we get paid so much more) either. But hey, its nice to be needed for now at least...I guess. It will be scary and a bit exciting all at the same time.

Well, I'm still at work and its time to write down vitals again and start drawing labs, doing trach/vent care, giving meds and all that "fun" stuff again, so till later..... ;)